Just wanted to post an update, again more for future reference than anything else. I don't feel much like doing anything other than just… being, I guess. But I want to remember this, as I've mentioned before. It's important to write about the hard times too; they're what will give the good ones meaning.
I'm feeling a tad more like myself today. It's going to be a while before I get back to "normal" - whatever that means these days.
It's strange; I will feel OK for a few hours, then suddenly a wave of exhaustion will hit like a tidal wave.
I mentioned this to my doctor yesterday, and she said, not unkindly, "Yes, Cass, most people *are* tired after not sleeping for six months. Even you."
Well, I'm afraid I had a bit of a scare yesterday at the office, the end result of what has been months and months of stress.
I had worked all weekend, and didn't come remotely close to finishing what needed to be done. I hadn't slept well for... well, for months, really.
I have multiple deadlines this week. I'm far behind, for reasons that are nearly all beyond my control, so I was working frantically to stay on top of things. And yesterday afternoon, it all finally caught up to me.
The first hour is in the books, as of barely 30 minutes ago.
The verdict? Not too bad, all things considered.
There was some discomfort, but that may be partly due to only having Lidocaine applied. My nephew C (yes, thatC) apparently strip-mined the medicine cabinet as well as the refrigerator, since all of the Tylenol I bought last week is suddenly gone. It really only bothered me when she worked high on the cheekbones, and even then it was intermittent. Most of the time I barely felt it.
I go back Saturday; this time we're going to see how laser does at "deforestation," as a friend calls it. My electrolysist said she thinks it will make things go much faster if it works as well as she suspects it will. Fingers crossed.
Work was... dreadful. 'Nuff said. The sooner I am out of there and into a new position, the better.
I heard from several recruiters today, and one position sounded promising. Talking to them is a long, long way from getting the gig though; still, you have to start somewhere. Given how awful things have been lately, I'll settle for that.
In honor of taking the first steps towards eliminating my own facial hair, here are a few tunes from the more hirsute end of the indie rock spectrum.
First, a beautiful, haunting song from Iron & Wine:
Next, Seattle's own Fleet Foxes:
And, also from Seattle (originally, anyway), Band of Horses:
I don't really feel like writing at the moment, to be honest. But I want to write this so I remember how things really were right now when I look back in a year or three, when I'm finally myself and things are better.