Hello all, and Happy Fourth of July for those of you in the States. (And a belated Happy Canada Day for my friends north of the border.)
I realize it's been a while since I posted. I hope to do better. A lot has been happening, not all of it good. But for this post I thought I would focus on three instances when it was, and thank those responsible.
I've been dealing with the fallout from two incidents with my family over the past few weeks. I'm not comfortable saying more than that at the moment. But I can say that they have caused me a great deal of pain and heartache - some of the worst of my life.
I'm currently weighing my options regarding how I move forward. And I *will* be moving forward. I will NOT allow their actions - overt and otherwise - stop me. Enough said for now.
I want to conclude by thanking several people who have gone above and beyond to help me.
My colleague S has been there when I simply needed to not be alone. Thank you for being there, hon.
My therapist, M, has twice taken time out of her busy schedule to talk to me on short notice. Her compassion and insight have been invaluable. I will never be able to repay the debt I owe you.
My friend F, who has known me almost literally my entire life, spent an entire afternoon today listening quietly but intently as only he can.
I can sum up F as a friend by telling you the question he asked as our conversation drew to a close: "What can I do to help you, Cass? Anything I can do, I will." That is a true friend.
Finally, and most of all, thank you to my dear friend Alice. The last six months have been some of the most difficult of my life, and at a time when I had been hurt terribly by someone I loved deeply (and still do, in spite of everything), you have been there for me. Thank you, hon. xoxoxo
Hoping to write more soon. In the meantime, please keep the 50 innocent people murdered by a hateful thug in your thoughts. We live in dark, dark times. The only option, in the words of the great Bruce Cockburn, is to "kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight." Amen.
Hello all - hope everyone had a lovely weekend. Just a brief post about the past week in my corner of the world. As it turns out, my face was the center of quite a bit of activity, albeit somewhat unplanned. :c)
Hi everyone! I'm sorry for the extended absence, especially in light of my previous post promising an imminent follow-up. I do have a good excuse, however... honest!
I'm afraid I've been down for the count for nearly two full weeks with the flu. Yes, again, believe it or not. I had a particularly nasty bout with it for nearly a month back in December/January. I was hoping I'd be spared my usual March follow-up visit, but alas, it was simply biding its time.
On the bright side, I didn't get sick until I had just about finished work for the current project at work. It's been a very busy six months. I was also dealing with the fallout I've alluded to in my personal life as well.
I suspect my immune system held off the bug until I could finally take a bit of time. This has happened in the past when I've completed a major project, so it would make sense. I haven't been quite as sick as I was around the holidays, fortunately, but I'm still coping with a persistent cough and seemingly endless congestion.
That said, today was the first day in some time I felt as if I was improving. I'm hoping with the weekend imminent (and good weather as well - it's been a particularly raw and damp spring here in New England) that I can get past this. I am chomping at the bit to go for a run. But I've learned my lesson - better to wait an extra day or two than set off a relapse that puts me right back where I started.
OK, time for this girl to get some rest. In the meantime, here's a quick shot to give you some idea of my current cadaverous pallor:
OK, I really *am* paler than usual at the moment... but not cadaverous like this! Joking aside, isn't the light in this shot wild? Pretty cool, eh?
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Like many of us, I suspect, I've been listening obsessively to A Moon Shaped Pool, Radiohead's new album. I'm a huge fan, so my opinion is admittedly biased, but I think it's absolutely brilliant. If you haven't already, check out the video for "Daydreaming." The song and the video are stunningly
beautiful:
And from back in the day, here's their ferocious performance of "Paranoid Android" at the 1997 Glastonbury Festival:
Man, are Jonny Greenwood and Ed O'Brien monster guitar players or what?!? I love their more experimental albums, but I know I can put on OK Computer and (particularly) The Bends when I need an energy boost on a run. :c)
And to prove a great song is endlessly adaptable, here are Gillian Welch and Dave Rawlings with a mesmerizing cover of "Black Star":
Dave Rawlings is the best guitarist I have ever seen. Period. And I saw Stevie Ray Vaughan. :c)
Finally, for comparison, here's the original, from 1995's The Bends:
Songs like this show why they frequently merit comparison with Pink Floyd at its most majestic. Just stunning.
Off to bed here. Have a nice weekend, all, and I'll do my best to get to posting weekly again!
Meanwhile, since waiting is the theme du post, here are The Jayhawks, with a great live version of "Waiting for the Sun," from their classic 1991 Hollywood Town Hall album. I was lucky enough to see them in 1992, and they were every bit as good as this performance promised.
Their new album, Paging Mr. Proust (produced by R.E.M.'s Peter Buck!) comes out Friday, and is getting great advance buzz. Already ordered my copy. :c)
Hi everyone. This post evolved quite a bit as I worked on it today. I've had a lot on my mind the past few months, and that came out as I was writing this today. It began as a brief post on my recent visit to the salon, but it soon evolved into something much more involved.
Upon reading it now, I think the two pieces of the post - the original, somewhat light-hearted idea, and the more intensive, soul-searching conclusion - share a common thread: self-worth, and self-awareness. I hope you find it worthwhile.
Chuffed Cass, searching the Internet for where spring went.
Happy Sunday evening from frigid New England. The weather has been crazy here, even by Boston standards. On Thursday and Friday of last week the temperatures reached 70 F (21 C); I wore sandals to work for the first time since last October.
Today? Snow, a high temperature of 32F (0C), and gale force winds (with gusts up to 60 mph/96kph). Tomorrow will be even colder, with half a foot of snow (~15 cm) and more wind. You would never suspect that tomorrow is Opening Day for most major league baseball teams, including personal favorites Boston and Seattle. (Toronto and Pittsburgh, my other two adopted teams, actually opened - and won - their season openers today - yea!)
Anyway, I just wanted to check in and say hello; I'm wiped out after four-plus intense months on both the personal and professional fronts. With a bit of luck the craziness on the professional side peaked last Friday, and should begin to slow down considerably - and not a moment too soon, to be honest.
I promise I'll write more detailed posts soon; at the moment I'm just too worn out at the end of the day, or even on the weekends, to do much more than the cursory posts I've been putting up recently. Thank you for bearing with me, all. :c) Have a good week, everyone...
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In honor of Opening Day, here's a lovely song by folk singer Chuck Brodsky, "Letters in the Dirt." While the ostensible subject of the song is baseball (and specifically Richie Allen, an outstanding player for the Philadelphia Phillies in the Sixties), it's really a moving meditation on racism, injustice, and childhood innocence.
I'm pretty sure I've posted this next one before, but it's such a great song it deserves to be heard again. Greg Brown's thoughtful "Laughing River," from his 1992 Dream Cafe album, uses baseball as a metaphor for self-acceptance, resilience, and contentment.
This has always felt like a song Gordon Lightfoot could have written, which is high praise indeed. Perhaps it's the chord changes, or that it's set on Michigan's Upper Peninsula; regardless, it's one that is clearly inspired by one of Canada's greatest songwriters, and more than does him justice.
Last but not least, a song that sums up the past few days here - the great Bill Evans (from his classic 1962 Moonbeams album) and "It Might As Well Be Spring." It should, but this certainly helps take the chill out of the air while we wait for it...
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