Two Is Also Magic Number

Wednesday, December 23, 2015


Hi everyone - hope you are all having a wonderful pre-holiday week.

I'm a bit under the weather here, unfortunately; I was sick with a particularly nasty case of the flu at Thanksgiving (late November), and my fear is that it's paying a return visit. On that note, I will keep this post brief.

If you can believe it, I celebrated my second anniversary of living full-time about a week and a half ago. It feels as if it just happened and as if it was a million years ago. My life now has its share of challenges, but as a dear friend once said, my worst day as myself is infinitely better than my very best trying to pretend to be "him."

I find my connection to "him" is receding more and more. It's hard to put into words, but while I remember my life before transitioning, I find it increasingly difficult to relate to it. II never really was that person; I suppose it makes sense that I would begin to lose the connection with "him" once I was finally able to live as myself.

I would like to write more, and hopefully will, but for now I just want to say that these two years have been incredibly challenging and incredibly rewarding.

I have learned so much about myself, particularly over the past few months. I have discovered heretofore unknown measures of self-confidence and strength and courage. All of the hard, hard work I have put in is paying off. It was, and is, totally worth the struggle.

I am proud to say that I have never tried to take the easy way out. I told myself I was going to work as hard as I can to have a successful transition, and I was not going to allow fear to dictate my life. And I have done so, and then some. And now I am beginning to reap the rewards of choosing to believe in myself, and to believe that I deserved to be  happy living the life I want as myself.

Next year is going to be the biggest year of my life. I am taking steps on several fronts to make it so. I will be writing about it in the weeks to come. Promise. I want to have a record of this period of my life so I can look back later and reflect on what it was like in the moment. So stay tuned. I cannot wait to begin the next phase of my journey.

I will end with a few pictures of myself , beginning with the day I went full-time in 2013(!), and my subsequent one- and two-year anniversaries. Photographs can only tell a piece of the story, but I think you will be able to see evidence of how far I have come in those two years.

December 2013:



December 2014:


December 2015:


For anyone reading this who is thinking of transitioning, I hope these pictures offer proof that if you are willing to work hard and believe in yourself, you CAN make your dream come true. (Then again, perhaps you may choose to view them as a cautionary tale. lol Regardless, I hope they help. :D)

***

I would be remiss if I didn't include a Christmas song or two, and I think I've picked two tracks guaranteed to put you in the mood.

Here are Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings with a spine-tingling version of "Silent Night," off their wonderful new Christmas album It's A Holiday Soul Party:


As Stephen Colbert notes in his introduction, the entire album really is this good. :c)

Next is one from a personal favorite, Bruce Cockburn, and his lovely take on the story of Christmas from his classic 1991 album Nothing But A Burning Light:


Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone!

HRT: Year Four (a/k/a Jugs (Not))

Monday, November 30, 2015


Hello all! This is a somewhat belated anniversary post. I have been battling the flu for over a week, if you can believe it. I haven't been this sick for nearly three years. Hopefully it's drawing to a close shortly. I am more than ready, believe me.

As mentioned above, this is an anniversary post, albeit a late one. It was four years ago - November 19, 2011 - that I began HRT. It seems both a lifetime ago *and* just moments ago.

I spent Thanksgiving with my dear friends T & J, as I had last year. Amazingly, it was the first time we had been together since, for a variety of reasons. While we all agreed that a year was far too long, an unintended result is the perspective that it brings.

Within minutes of my arrival, both T and J commented on how different I was from the last time they'd seen me. And I knew exactly what they meant.

I have come a long, long way in the past year, particularly in the last few months. Not just in terms of my appearance (although I have seen marked changes on that front), but, far more importantly, in my comfort level and self-confidence.

J echoed something I have heard from a number of people over the past few months: "You aren't apologizing for who you are anymore, Cass; you OWN it. And that makes all the difference."

She was correct: I do know who I am now. And I like who I am. A lot. And it shows.

I'll write more about this, but I see the difference in how people interact with me, and in how I interact with them. Confidence is a funny thing, I will simply say that. :c)

More to come in a future post, but I wanted to acknowledge just how far I've come in a year. And believe me: you ain't seen nothing yet. By this time next year things are going to be even better. I will make it happen. So stay tuned, folks; it's going to be quite a ride! But for now... I need to take another nap. (Stupid flu!) lol

***

A quick thank you to another J for the lovely red blouse I'm wearing in the photo at the top of the post. Thank you, hon - for the blouse *and* the dress! :D

***

Jason Isbell has become one of my very favorite songwriters over the past few years. He is the real deal: great singer, songwriter, guitarist... and interpreter. Here is his take on one of the best from Guy Clark, the songwriter's songwriter:


And the master's version:



And one more:


Whew... goosebumps, every time! It really doesn't get any better than that...

She's So Cold

Tuesday, November 24, 2015


Actually, it's more like she has a cold - because I have my annual holiday flu, alas. :-/

It began Saturday afternoon with a sore throat - as it did at the same time with my Canadian partner-in-crime, Miss April. We now not only finish each other's sentences, laugh at the same off-color jokes while watching Archer, and simultaneously text each other the same awful puns; apparently now we get sick in sync as well. (Thanks a lot, bitch!)

Anyway, it's now at the "even-my-eyebrows-hurt" stage, which hopefully means the worst is nearly over with. On top of that, my voice is utterly shot, as is April's. We were talking last night and finally had to end it early; we couldn't stop laughing about how awful our voices sounded. lol This is pretty close, for those who are curious:


(I love his version, for the record; so much emotion!!!)

I have another post in the works, which I hope to finish in the next few days, health permitting. And April and I are collaborating on our second joint post as well, so prepare yourself for that particular brand of lunacy readers have come to know so well. :D Stay tuned.

In the meantime, a classic from the Stones, circa 1980's Emotional Rescue album:

video

BFFs Meet Up At Last!!! (a/k/a Help! I Got Nature On Me!, a/k/a Three Bitchin' Babes)

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Note: Please pay no attention to the claims of a certain leggy blonde Canadian hussy regarding the events surrounding our recent historic meeting. The poor lass is no doubt misguided due to a diet consisting of poutine, Labatt's, and maple syrup. Mine is the One True Post.

Also, neither April nor your humble blogstress harmed any polar bears, moose or koalas during our Wild Weekend, no matter what the pending lawsuits say.

You may now commence reading about our (mis)adventures. Much more to come too - soon!

Thank you!!!!

***

Well... it finally happened.

What is "it," you ask?

History, that's what.

Or, to put it differently...

This happened!!!


Yup... April & Cass finally met in person!!!

Follow below the fold for our individual takes on what was a wonderful (and much too short) get-together!!!


Still Still Here (a/k/a A Few Recent Pics)

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Yes, I'm still here. :D And there really *is* a long, long post coming. Honestly! Once it's done all will be clear. Promise. :c) In the meantime, here's... well, more of me. lol





***

Just some random artists for your listening pleasure... or *are* they?!?!? Hmmm... :D









Still Here

Monday, October 5, 2015


Just a quick post to hello, how are you, in the words of one of my favorite bands.  I'm still alive and hope you all are well. Hope to write more soon. Ciao 'til then...

The song I mentioned above:


The Waiting Really *Is* The Hardest Part :D

Saturday, September 5, 2015

I apologize for the delay in the post I promised previously. It *is* coming, honest!!! As you can see, I'm wracked with guilt:


Well, OK... maybe I'm not that guilt-ridden. :D But I promise it will be posted forthwith! For reals this time!

***

A special shout-out to the Divine Miss M, who took the above pic of me guzzling down my Shirley Temple (seriously, that's what it is!) last weekend in between bites of my kimchi & chicken. She is, in her own words, "shameless about [her] social media photography skills." (Hey, why be modest when you can capture my multitude of freckles in all of their melanin-induced glory like this, right? ;D) Thanks again, hon!

***

Since I've used Tom Petty's "The Waiting" in an earlier post, I decided to get creative. Accordingly, here are The Band and The Staple Singers, with a magical version of "The Weight":


This, of course, is from The Last Waltz, directed by Martin Scorsese at the height of his powers. (He'd just finished Taxi Driver and, after his ambitious-but-flawed New York, New York, would go on to direct Raging Bull.) Talk about a meeting of giants!

She Lives (With Pictures To Prove It)!

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Hello all! It's been a while! Just wanted to say hi and mention that you should watch this space for details of a super-duper, mega-important, historic, earth-shattering event. Think Nixon goes to China... The Beatles come to America... Fonzie moves in with the Cunninghams... we're talking B.I.G.

In the meantime, I have been woefully negligent in posting... well, anything. lol So here are a few semi-recent pictures, and several songs from the albums I've been wearing out lately. :D

First up is what I refer to as my ditzy secretary look:


I'm flashing a bit of 'tude because a friend was teasing me just off camera (about the brace, now that I think about it), and I snapped this shot as I was about to express my mock-indignation. :)

In case you're wondering, the wrist brace is for my tendinitis, which flares up several times a year. I've fractured/broken that wrist four times, so, as you can imagine, it gets a bit cranky from time to time. A little TLC, and it's usually good to go after a few days.

Anyway, more below the jump! Enjoy!!! :D

How To Fight Loneliness: A (Hopeful) Follow-Up :c)

Sunday, June 21, 2015


Hi everyone! Hope everyone is doing well, and is enjoying the arrival of summer. It's been spectacular here in the Boston area so far - which we have more than earned after the hellish winter we endured.

It was very humid here today; I went for my run earlier, and was thoroughly drenched when I finished. Typically this isn't my favorite type of weather, but as I remind myself every day, "At least you don't have to shovel it, Cass." Enough said. :D

On a more serious note, the lovely folks at the Nursing School Hub contacted me recently after reading a recent post here, How To Fight Loneliness. They asked if I could share a thoughtful, inspiring post from their site titled Is Loneliness Lethal? I'm happy and honored to do so.

Among the sobering facts it cites are the following:


  • 1 in 3 adults over the age of 45 reported being chronically lonely in a 2010 study, as opposed to 1 in 5 in 2000.
  • 1 in 4 say they have no one with whom they can talk about their personal troubles.
  • 40% of those surveyed say they feel lonely, compared to 20% in the 1980s.


As the post notes, loneliness has a serious impact on the emotional and physical health of those who suffer from it.

Fortunately, it doesn't have to be that way. There are a number of excellent suggestions on what to do to lessen isolation - several of which I can personally vouch for. :D

Please check out Is Loneliness Lethal? when you have a chance; I think you'll be glad you did!

***

I can't think of a better song to accompany this serious-but-hopeful post than one of my personal favorites from The Boss - "Two Hearts," from The River (1980):


I never fail to get goosebumps watching Bruce & Steve sing this together at the same mike. As Bruce himself notes, it's proof positive that "it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive." Amen. :D

Trans*forming the Dialogue: Cassidy's Contribution :c)

Monday, June 1, 2015




I am participating in Trans*forming the Dialogue, Simmons College’s Online MSW Program’s campaign to promote an educational conversation about the transgender community. By participating in this campaign, I will be offering my perspective on what TO ask and what NOT to ask trans*people.


***

The good folks at Simmons College's Trans*Forming the Dialogue program very kindly invited me to take part in their wonderful program. I hope I can contribute in some small way to this worthy endeavor. It is an honor. Please check them out at the link above; they're working on something quite meaningful, and well worth our support!

My thoughts are below the jump. :c)

Kiss Me, I'm Irish - And Extra-Proud of It Today! :D

Saturday, May 23, 2015


This Irish-American lass's sapphic heart is very, very proud today. :')


Way to go, Ireland!!!

***

A few Irish songs, in celebration of today's happy news. First up, Van the Man & the Chieftains, with the title song of their 1988 collaboration, "Irish Heartbeat":


Here's a beautiful version of the same song that Van recorded with the great Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits fame for his stellar new album, Duets: Reworking the Catalogue:


And here's my favorite song on the album, the haunting "Streets of Arklow," with Simply Red's Mick Hucknall:


You can find the equally mesmerizing original version on 1974's intensely personal - and very Celtic - Veedon Fleece, my favorite Van Morrison album:


And last but not least, Mundy's wonderful cover of Steve Earle's "Galway Girl," with assistance from Sharon Shannon:


Musings: New 'Do, New Dress

Monday, May 11, 2015

Hi everyone. Lots to write about, but for now I'll just share a few photos taken today (and some musings at the end, which basically showed up, unbidden, as I wrote this just now).

I had my hair done last Friday, which basically means I haven't had time to mess up my stylist's handiwork too badly yet. (Only half-joking...) Anyway, she gets full credit for any compliments. :)


Follow below the fold for a few more photos, and some ponderings as well...


One, Two, Three, Four...

Tuesday, April 28, 2015


Amazingly enough, my journey began four years ago today.

That was the day I finally admitted the truth to myself: I was a girl, and I had to transition.

It hardly seems possible that it's been four years, a sentiment I felt each of the previous three years as well.

More on the flip slide, including some photos of me along the way from then to now. :c)

Tighten(ed) Up

Sunday, April 26, 2015


Hi everyone. I want to say thank you to everyone checking in the past few weeks. It means a lot. It's been a long, mentally tiring stretch. 

My therapist helped quite a bit at our session last week. As she always does, she is able to help me look at the big picture. 

Quite honestly, she took me by surprise. I had assumed she would agree with my decision to move on. 

But she did not.

"I know why this hurt you so deeply, and why you feel such terrible sadness," she said.

"But this is where things are at this moment, Cass. Not forever; just for this moment. That's all." 

Her advice was to step back for a bit and give myself a chance to process everything. She helped me see that there has been a great deal of progress - but that it doesn't always occur in a straight line. People make mistakes, get scared, and sometimes don't know what to do. (She was also referring to me when she pointed these things out, needless to say.)

In any case, that is what I'm doing at the moment. Taking a break. Thinking a lot. And remembering why it is worth investing this much time and effort. Some things - some people - are worth it. 

Even when they drive you crazy. 

Maybe especially when they drive you crazy. :c)

***

The title of this post has nothing to do with the previous section. Unfortunately for me, it does have to do with a sore spot - specifically, my lower back. :-/

I had electrolysis last Tuesday after work, as I always do. We were working on my neck - always a great deal of fun, needless to say - and I wound up laying at a slightly uncomfortable angle for about 15-20 minutes. 

It didn't hurt; in fact, I felt fine when I finished the session. It wasn't until I stepped out of my car 20-25 minutes later that I realized my lower back was quite sore.

I never have back problems, fortunately. I'm grateful - and lucky. One of my legs is nearly a half-inche longer than the other, something I only found out a few years ago at a free chiropractic screening at my gym. 

The chiropractor was astounded that I've never had any back problems with such a discrepancy. She attributed it to being slender and exercising regularly to keep my core muscles strong.

In any case, I've had a stiff back since. It was much better by Friday, but still a bit sore. For once I didn't ignore it or try to do too much to soon. I went for several short walks (45 minutes) and one relatively long one (1 hr 45 min) Thursday through Saturday.

Today it felt well enough that I decided to try my first run in a week. If it started to feel even a bit off, I was going to stop.

Happily, it did not. I was able to run six miles, albeit at slightly less than my normal pace, and walk for another hour. Once my muscles loosened up in the chilly weather, my back felt fine. And it still does, five hours later.  Hopefully I'm back on track.

I took the photo above after returning home, btw. Even my hats don't really fit me any longer, oddly enough. I suppose there are worse problems...

Have a good week, everyone. And thank you again.

***

I chose a few songs that seemed to fit this post. Up first is a soul classic from Archie Bell & The Drells - 1968's "Tighten Up":


And here's a song from one of my all-time favorite bands - "She's Tight," from Cheap Trick's terrific 1982 album One on One:


And last but not least, here's The Who with "Slip Kid," from 1975's The Who By Numbers:


This is an underrated album, which is probably inevitable since it followed their two greatest albums, Who's Next (1971) and Quadrophenia (1973). But it's quite good on its own merits. John Entwistle drew the cover, incidentally...

Thoughtful article about Bruce Jenner

Saturday, April 25, 2015

I wanted to share an article I read earlier today about Bruce Jenner's interview last night on American television.

The author, Christina Kahrl, transitioned about 10 years ago. She's one of my favorite baseball writers for some time, and has written a number of times on trans-related issues. This is one of her best. Hope you agree.

http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/12760939/why-bruce-jenner-declaration-creates-opportunity

How To Fight Loneliness

Thursday, April 16, 2015


A huge part of my transition has been learning to let myself truly feel for the first time in my life.

After spending a lifetime holding in my emotions (for a variety of reasons, not all trans-related), allowing myself to be vulnerable has been a challenge.

I haven't written a lot the past five or six months, beyond several humorous posts. Those posts did not, and do not, really reflect how challenging this time has been. I would prefer not to go into the reasons, or all that transpired during that time.

But I will say this: letting others get close to the real me has been a painful experience.

I have opened my heart completely.

And I have been hurt. Almost unbearably so.

There were very, very brief moments of happiness during this time... but that only led to even greater hurt when those moments ended.

"He" learned early on to closely guard his emotions and, particularly, his heart. It was how he survived all those years, years lived without love.

After starting my transition, I slowly began to lower those walls, bit by bit. Undoing a lifetime of well-earned caution and fear is not an easy process. But I did it.

And, unfortunately, I have been hurt. Again. Just like he was, each and every time he took that risk.

I've been in therapy for 17 years, with four exceptional therapists. Even the three therapists I worked with before finally realizing I had to transition were outstanding, given that I was never able to tell them the truth. As for M, my current therapist... she has been a lifesaver. Period.

But as grateful as I am to them - and I will be never be able to repay the debt I owe them - I can see that some things are beyond being fixed, even by the very best. And even with my very best effort.

And one of those things is to be loved - truly loved - by another. I want that more than anything in the world - even more than my surgery, if that is possible. I have yearned for it my entire life.

I had two very, very brief glimpses last fall - exceedingly brief - which were just enough to let me know how much I have missed in my life by being alone.

Those glimpses both ended almost as soon as they started, and represent the only occasions on which I have ever come remotely close to experiencing what it is like to be truly wanted by another. I almost wish I had never had those few moments, in all honesty. Knowing what I lost, even if I only possessed it for literally hours, makes the heartache that much more palpable.

But in spite of the pain, and without going into specifics, I still thought that, at long last, it might yet happen for me. So much so that I worked even harder to try not to give in to the darkness and to believe.

As a result, I let my defenses down completely over the past few months. I let someone into my heart, fully and completely.

But I have learned a harsh lesson over the past 4-6 weeks.

It is not going to happen.

Ever.

Sometimes you can do everything in your power, to the utmost of your ability, to make a dream come true.... and still fail, in spite of those efforts.

Finding that one special person was that dream for me.

But I know now that it was never to be.

I cannot, and do not, blame anyone else. They were simply being themselves, for better and for worse. (And it is both; otherwise I would never have allowed myself to take the risk again.)

The hard truth that I must face is that I was being myself as well.

And I did not measure up.

Just as "he" failed to measure up, over and over and over and over.

Transitioning means becoming your true self.

It does not, however, mean that you leave behind your shortcomings and weaknesses.

Some things are immutable, I have discovered.

I cannot put myself through experiences like those of the past month-plus ever again.

I just can't.

I do not for a moment regret transitioning.

I am finally living the life I was supposed to lead, and being the person I should have been, all along. It far exceeds what I could have ever hoped for before I stated my transition. If I had a dollar for every person who has told me how obvious it is to them now that I was always a girl... well, I could retire right now.

But living the life you should does not protect you from paying a steep price for being yourself.

I haven't spoken to my brother or his wife for nearly two years. (Or, more accurately, they haven't spoken to me, since that was their decision, not mine.)

Nor have I seen my nieces (my brother's children) during that time. To the best of my knowledge, they still have no idea I transitioned.

My parents... well, they are who they are. It is crystal clear that they will never accept the truth about who I am. (They still call me by his name, nearly a year and a half after I went full-time.)

And, similarly, I cannot come to terms with why I am incapable of being loved by that one special person.

It is something I lack, or perhaps something I possess that I wish I didn't, that explains why I am alone, rather than the shortcomings of others. The one common factor in every instance, after all, is me.

If I could, I would do whatever it took to make being loved possible.

But some things are beyond us, no matter how hard we work, or how much we long for them.

I do not say that in a self-pitying way. I am well aware that others face struggles far greater than mine.

It simply is what it is.

Learning to live with that fact is the challenge I face moving forward.

All I can do is try my very best to do so.

And I will.

I have no other choice.

***

Eddie Vedder and Jeff Tweedy say it with far greater eloquence than I ever could.



How to fight loneliness
Just smile all the time
Shine your teeth 'til meaningless
And sharpen them with lies

And whatever's going down
Will follow you around
That's how you fight
Loneliness

You laugh at every joke
Drag your blanket blindly
And fill your heart with smoke

And the first thing that you want
Will be the last thing you ever need
That's how you fight it

Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time

Vignettes: Three Days

Friday, March 27, 2015


So... this post has absolutely nothing to do with being trans. At all But I was telling someone this story earlier this evening and she told me I *had* to post it. (You know who you are. :D)

It's a tale of lasting friendships, cheap (in every sense of the word) beer, a cult film, and one mother who is pushed just a bit too far.

If this sounds to you like a tale worth hearing... read on. :)


Vignettes: Wearin' O' The Green

Tuesday, March 17, 2015


Beannachtaí na Féile Pádraig, everyone! I thought I would share a brief St. Patrick's day story with you as you quaff green beer and engage in fisticuffs with random strangers on the street. (Or is that just me?)

This actually took place *last* St. Patrick's Day, but I think it falls within the statute of limitations on blog post eligibility. If not... well, it's my blog, dammit!

Anyway, I was sitting at my desk at work when one of my friends stopped by to say hello. 

Typically we chat about how our respective favorite baseball and hockey teams (Boston Red Sox/Seattle Mariners and Boston Bruins, in my case) fared the previous evening.

But not this day.

"Happy St. Patrick's Day," I said.

"And you too," he said. "I'm confused about something though."

"What's that?" I asked.

"Well, just look at what you're wearing," he said.

I looked down. Nothing seemed amiss.

"I'm sorry... what's wrong with it?" I asked, genuinely curious. "Did I spill something on it?"

He laughed. 

"No. That's not it."

"OK, I give up," I said, baffled.

"It's St. Patrick's Day," he said, gesturing at my teal dress, black tights, and boots. "Look at your red hair and all of those freckles. Of all people, shouldn't you know you're supposed to be wearing green?"

"Who says I'm not?" I replied instantly, struggling mightily to look as innocent as possible while keeping a straight face.

A turned bright red, then he began to laugh.

"Touche," he said, grinning, toasting me with his coffee.

"Sláinte," I replied, lifting my own coffee mug in return.

:D
***

The ideal song for today from one of Ireland's greatest bands - Thin Lizzy:


And of course I would be remiss for not including this classic:


Those twin lead guitars from Scott Gorham and Brian Robertson are absolutely killer. Makes this Irish lass proud of her heritage. :c)

Celluoid Heroines: Thelma & Louise (& Cass & April???)

Sunday, March 15, 2015





Hello, gentle reader. Once again, apologies for the lengthy spell between posts. It's been eventful in Cass's little corner of the world. Hopefully I can share some of it soon. Stay tuned.

In the meantime, though, both my partner-in-crime April and your humble blogstress thought it was high time to share another of our incisive tete-a-tetes concerning the pressing matters of the day.

On this day, our wide-ranging discussion covered the gamut, from meteorology to foreign affairs to, ultimately, the creative process - all pursued with our usual level of determination, rigorous intellect, and good taste.

Enjoy! (And feel free to take notes if you are so inclined. There's much wisdom here, if I do say so myself. And I do...)

***

This conversation took place in the middle of Snowpocalypse in both Toronto and Boston.

April: Car outside temp display shows -23C. Brrr!!!!

Cass: Two more feet of snow here today - that will be 100 inches in five weeks. That does it: we're moving to southern France. Pack your bags, girl!

A: Done and double done.

C: We'll have to work on our air of unearned haughtiness on the plane ride, I guess.

A: Plane ride?!? Mais non! Package steamer. Remember, I'm bringing a few cars, clothes, etc.

C: Hmm... good point. And of course I'm bringing my collection of bovine-related accoutrements.

A: That alone may require a ship of its own.

C: "Les Bovines Plus Grande," as I believe the locals put it. ("Les Moos" is also acceptable.)

A: The ship will have an interesting manifest.

C: Yes, one would imagine "Statutory Grape," for example, could perhaps lead to some confusion.

A: Two banana bikes might also raise eyebrows.

C: As might my box of VHS tapes with the entire Lou Grant series. To say nothing of my Ed Asner Playgirl centerfold.

A: True. That may raise even French eyebrows.

C: "Ohhhh. Mr. Grant!"

A: Never really liked that show. More into Laverne and Shirley.

C: "Schemeel! Schlemazel! Hasenfeff Incorporated!" Just think - we could have a singalong every night on the high seas!

A: When flirting with the captain, remember to call it a boat. They like that.

C: I believe they will also accept "tub."

A: Sigh... I miss Lenny and Squiggy, Cass.

C: But what about Carmine? Pardon me - The Big Ragu?

A: Nah. Too swarthy.

C: Yeah, never liked him either. His arms were sooooo hairy. Yuck!!!

A: Agreed. Now I would totally date Jim Rockford.

C: Ummm.... yeahhh?!?!? That goes without saying. Just keep an eye on that hussy lawyer of his. Tramp.

A: She must be gay.

C: Hmmm... well now, that certainly puts matters in an entirely different light. >=)

A: Is there Rockford slash fiction?

C: There is now! :D

A: Another frontier reached. How do we do it?

C: I don't question our collective genius any longer, hon; I simply acknowledge its presence. Anyway, I'll bring my Playgirl swizzle sticks and shag carpet area rug and meet you at Jim's trailer. Last one there has to clean the fondue pot!

A: Brings whole new meaning to "Rockford turn," doesn't it?

C: On that note... you can start with Jim by talking cars. I'll, er... check out the lawyer's briefs.

A: And then: cross-examination.

C: Oh my... did it suddenly get warm in here?

A: Moving on... how about this? Mad Men has reached the Seventies. So could we have a Rockford Files/Mad Men mash up. Dons wife, Megan goes missing, a cult is suspected, Jim takes the case.

C: I like the way you think, girl!

A: How about Archer & The Walking Dead, that would be awesome!

C: Ooh! Ooh! Justified... and Deadwood! Double the Timothy Olyphant?!? Who could resist?

A: Time travel necessary, but I could see it.

C: I'm sure Al Swearengen can figure it out.

A: Dead Like Me and Scoobie Doo?

C: That is an odd pairing! It just might work.

A: Both supernatural.

C: Ah. Of course.

A: X Files and Hit and Miss, Mia is recruited by the FBI.

C: The Odd Couple, starring Raylan Givens and Dewey Crowe.

A: LOL\=D/

C: Raylan keeps asking Dewey if he wants kidney for dinner.

A: Law and Order: I Love Lucy. Lucy and Ethel are cops on NYC vice unit in late fifties. Already have half the episodes written in my head.

C: Dan & Roger from Mad Men are a natural crossover, I think. Perhaps Joan becomes Ethel & Lucy's CI at Sterling-Cooper?

A: CI?

C: Sorry - Confidential Informant. I forget not everyone grew up with a father slinging police lingo.

A: Got it.

C: 10-4.

A: Makes perfect sense now.

C: Copy that. OMG... I can't stop the lingo now! And I have an insatiable craving for crullers, bad coffee, and questionable off-duty fashion choices! Help!!!

A: Focus, dammit! This is important! In the Seventies, how about a reboot of Law and Order: ILL (I Love Lucy)? Little Ricky becomes cocaine baron and relocates to Miami.

C: Hang on.. I'm alerting Crockett & Tubbs with the Imminent Drug Bust beacon. Just gotta find the right shade of pastel filter to apply first.

A: Tell them to leave the socks at home.

C: "You're under arrest, scumbag - for a crime against fashion!"

And on it went, for hours and hours. (And no, I am not kidding!)

*** 

It's hard to fathom how such obvious genius continues to go unrecognized by the cultural elite, isn't it? One can only hope they see the errors of their way while there's still time for April and I to save television. Hollywood... the clock is ticking!

***

On that note, here's a lovely version of one of my favorite Kinks songs: "Celluloid Heroes."


Only Ray Davies could look at what most would casually dismiss as a slightly tacky and vulgar tourist attraction... and instead recognize a metaphor for loneliness, longing, and the hope of transcendence, even if it's only vicariously, for a few precious hours on the silver screen.

God Save The Kinks indeed...



The You-Know-Who Is Back

Saturday, February 21, 2015


Well hello there, everyone.

So... where have you all been?

Just kidding. :c) It's nice to be back.

So much has happened the past two months - far too much for a single post. 

So... I will start small. And upbeat. :c)

 

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