That Was The Week That Was: Part I

Monday, November 25, 2013

(Thought I would throw a bone to my friends on the other side of the Atlantic with that title. :D)

Greetings from frigid New England, one and all! As I write this, I am in my living room, huddled under two blankets, watching the Bruins defeat the Pittsburgh Penguins in overtime (yea!) while wearing the following items:
  • A t-shirt
  • A long-sleeve t-shirt
  • A fur-lined hooded sweatshirt (zipped all the way up)
  • Three pair of leggings
  • Heavy wool socks
  • Calf-length boots
And I am *still* cold. Even my pal Cody the Cow can only provide so much additional warmth: 

Clearly karma remembers my years of mocking my mother and sister for complaining about the cold. (In my defense, however, I *was* dealing with the handicap of trying to pretend I was a boy at the time!)

It is slightly warmer today than it was yesterday, when we had temperatures in the lows 20s with 25 MPH winds. For those of you in countries that use sensible means to measure temperatures and such, that means it was wicked cold (as the locals say). :c)

Now that I have established the hardships I am enduring, I thought I might share a bit about last week. 

The short version:

It was a good one. :c)

I'll start with work. My manager, L, graced us with an appearance last week. 

Her visit had several purposes: a) to meet with the writers up here in the frozen Northeast; b) to finalize my plans for going full-time at work, and c) to meet with P, my manager's boss.

The fine-tuning of the plans went well. We wound up revising the timeline slightly to streamline it, but it was a minor adjustment. We were all pleased and feel it is solid.

L, our HR rep A, and I met with P on Thursday. I've mentioned P here in the past; he cares about the people who work for him, is very smart, and has a sense of humor. 

In short, he is a good cookie - so much so that I tell him it's hard to believe he is a Red Wings fan. Kelli will know just what I mean. Right Kelli? ;D 

(For you non-hockey fans, the Red Wings are the misbegotten team she inexplicably roots for, when my Bruins are quite clearly the superior team in every way. Come over from the dark side, Kelli! It's not too late!)

Our main goal, as L reiterated in our meeting the day before, was to reassure P that we had thought things through and planned accordingly. 

Of course, that didn't mean we had to do it right away now, did it? ;-p

After a bit of shop talk, he asked how our plan was shaping up.

My smart-ass reply (as if I would make any other kind) was, "A plan…. uh, yes… we probably *should* get started on one, shouldn't we?" 

He clearly has my number, however. 

"See, this is why I made sure we had grown-ups as part of this process," he replied, gesturing to L and A.

"Well, I am going through puberty again, P," I replied. 

(He laughed. :-p)

I then quickly ran through our timeline, which he thought was solid. We made one final tweak at his suggestion to help inform managers in the correct order. 

"This is really great!" he said. "Heck, I thought you were going to make me have to do something... but you've already done it all."

He turned to L.

"Why can't all of our meetings be like this?"

"Because the cool kids can't be at every meeting," she replied. :-)

Once P had recovered from his disappointment at this news, I mentioned that the other key was setting the proper tone in how we present this to everyone. They will take their cue from us about how to react. 

I told them that I am proud of who I am now, and genuinely like myself, and am happy that my co-workers will finally get a chance to see me at last. 

It isn't something to hide from - or to shout from the rooftops, for that matter. I am finally going to be me; no more, no less. Hopefully that will be what comes across. I think that was well-received by everyone in the room.

Both L and I were pleased to discover that P had obviously done some research on his own, too. 

He had a question about ENDA, and asked about GID versus gender dysphoria, as well as a few other terms her wasn't clear about. He had also read a bit about the actual process of transition, and sympathized with what it entailed, physically and emotionally. 

In short: he gets it.

As the meeting was winding down, he asked about when it would be appropriate to start calling me Cassidy and using the appropriate pronouns, which was a thoughtful gesture. 

I replied that it would be fine to use my boy name until I was full-time, but not to worry about any slips, before or after. 

I mentioned that Stace's company dinged every person who used the wrong pronoun or her boy name after she went full-time. (Stace, he laughed when I reported that you were among the guilty parties!) :-p 

He thought it was a fun way to help people adjust, and to take off some of the pressure people may feel about saying the "wrong" thing.

"And just to be completely honest here," he said as the meeting was wrapping up, "I am totally going to screw up your name - early and often. Guaranteed."

"In that case, do you want to give me ten dollars?" I replied, holding out my hand.

"Only ten?" he said. "You are an optimist." 


To sum up: the path is clear, and it's full-speed ahead!!!

More to follow on the rest of the week!


It was on this day in 1976 that one of my favorite groups, The Band, held their legendary farewell concert at Winterland in San Francisco. You might know it better as The Last Waltz.

Martin Scorsese's film of the same name, released in 1978, is rightly considered as, if not the greatest, then certainly a contender for the greatest concert film of all time. (Stop Making Sense is pretty darned close, in my book.)

In a movie filled to the brim with remarkable performances, my favorite is Van Morrison's tremendous version of "Caravan." He is a notoriously iffy live performer, but this shows you what he was capable of when he is on. Behold:

This might be the single most joyous live performance I have ever seen. :c)


Becca on November 26, 2013 at 1:03 AM said...

Hey a plan! Good for you!

As for the weather - more opportunities to buy more lovely clothes!

Jenna on November 26, 2013 at 2:15 AM said...

If you've got an email signature make sure that you change the name on it. Somehow it doesn't feel right to start correcting people when you've just sent out half a dozen emails with your old name at the bottom of them :-(

As much as I recognise where the title comes from that comes from my Dad's era. You look really young in your pictures, didn't realise you were that old :-P

Stace on November 26, 2013 at 8:02 AM said...

The Shame Sheet was an idea from a couple of colleagues of mine (not from me! :) ), and was put on a whiteboard in the room.

I added my name when I nearly sent emails out signed with my old name. And then added a second mark to my counter when I nearly did it a second time.

The team tried to convince me not to (after all I had not sent the mail and so no one needed to know). But I thought it was more important to let people know that I also made mistakes to help them not feel so bad when it happened.

After all, after 5 years they had to suddenly switch to a new name, and new pronouns. In two different languages as well :) As long as no one was doing it deliberately (something that did not happen to me) then I could handle it when it happened!

I hope that yours goes to plan as well as mine did!


Calie on November 27, 2013 at 8:44 PM said...

Love this "feel-good" post, Cass! Stay warm!

Oh, and my one chance to see Van the Man.....he stiffed us. Still love his music.

Calie xxx

Cassidy on November 27, 2013 at 9:32 PM said...

@ Becca: Yup, we've been working on it for about two months now, off and on. I feel quite confident about it.

@ Calie: Thank you so much, hon. :D It is supposed to be frigid here again; the leggings are going to get a workout this winter, I can tell…

Sorry about Van's blow-off. The first time I saw him he played a magnificent show - with his back to the audience the entire time. No joke…

@ Stace: The Shame Sheet… I like that. :c)

More than once recently I have come perilously close to sending out email at work signed "Hugs, Cass", particularly to co-workers (always female) whom I genuinely like, such as A. I guess I identify with them so closely I forget they don't know the truth yet. Soon. :c)

@ Jenna: Thank you for the tips. I'll bet I would have forgotten about my email signature. The last thing I need is to be atop the Shame Sheet on my very first morning!

And bless your heart for saying how young I look! You know how to warm a girl's heart. ;-p


Cassidy on November 27, 2013 at 9:48 PM said...

Also, Becca - I completely agree about buying more cute clothes. I am all set for summer, but I still need winter things. April was offering suggestions on a ski bunny look I should consider ("furry hood, white jacket, while leggings; pale pink will work too").

All I need to do is, you know, avoid skiing, since I would likely break multiple bones (my own and others) and cause an avalanche or three. Other than that, though, I should be good to go once I am all dolled up… :c)

== Cass

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