In My Room (Not...)

Thursday, May 3, 2012

I'm a bit under the weather as I deal with my semi-annual bout with the flu, but I wanted to write a quick post about something that happened the other night.

My friend C called me so we could catch up; we've been playing phone tag for months, literally. She's important to me, so I wanted her to be one of the first people to know about me. I wanted to tell her in person (she lives about four hours away), but I decided I wanted to tell her, even if the phone isn't ideal.

I think I've mentioned that I've been staying with my parents while I get settled here - and that they don't know about me yet. Which isn't to say I haven't tried. And tried. And tried. And tried. (For the record, my sister is still the only family member who knows.) I really appreciate them letting me stay here - things have been frantic as I start a new job, commute 90+ minutes each way on weekends to pack, and, oh, yes, transition - but, still, it has its challenges.

For instance, they seem to forget at times that I'm an adult now, and that I need some privacy. Not because they want to eavesdrop; they just forget I'm not 13 anymore.

My parents had gone out to dinner, which meant the timing was good to tell C my news. Of course, things couldn't be that simple.

The instant C phones, my parents, naturally, arrived home early from dinner. And naturally, instead of staying downstairs to catch up on the Law & Order repeats they missed instead of staying downstairs as they always do, they decide to go to bed immediately - in the room right next to mine. Naturally.

I tried whispering, but my voice is shot because I have a cold. So as I battle nerves and surging emotions while I attempt to whisper to C that I was, you know, changing gender, she kept apologizing because she couldn't hear a word I was saying.

So I got up and checked out the adjoining bedroom - but then I hear my father in the room on the other side of the wall watching, yes, Law & Order. (Because what else would a retired cop want to see but more blood and guts, right?) Which means I had only one place left where I could be assured they wouldn't be able to hear.

So, I go to this location, and proceed to give C what is rapidly becoming my standard "I'm transitioning" speech - and wow, there's a phrase I never dreamed I'd be writing!  :c)

C, in turn, has what is rapidly becoming the standard response:

a) <stunned silence>
b) "Wow."
c) "I'm so, so sorry - I can't imagine how difficult this has been for you."
d) "You're totally coming down here and we're going for pedicures!"

All right, she's the only one who's said d) so far. But I can always hope it *does* become commonplace - my dogs are *ugly*, and need all the help they can get! :c)

Anyway, after a few minutes of C attempting to wrap her brain around this news and me trying not to hyperventilate and/or pass out from another coughing jag, C says, "I have to ask you something.

"Your voice sounds really weird. Where *are* you, anyway?"

The tension - OK, terror - I'd felt all day faded as the appropriateness of my location sank in.

"Umm… in the closet."

We laughed for a full minute. :c)

You really can't make these things up!


I'll write more about this conversation - C and I have a long history together, and she's important to me. I also want to write about my moving adventure/first HRT-induced meltdown, and about my doctor, well, chewing me out about overdoing things. And, since you can never have too much uncertainty in your life as you transition, the latest (potential) game-changer at my new job.

But one thing at a time. Or so my doctor tells me. :c)

For now... off to bed!


I had a conversation with a friend the other night - late the other night, as she's a fellow insomniac. She mentioned that the Primitives have a new album coming out soon. Since then, I've had this song stuck in my head.

In turn, I mentioned to her that Mazzy Star also have a new album due out. As a result, I also have *this* song in my head now.

In both cases, I'm perfectly OK with that.


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