Captain Oblivious: (Still) Reporting for Duty!

Sunday, March 31, 2013

So... I spent the weekend visiting with my dear friends T, J, and F, as we'd decided we were long overdue for a get-together. We decided to get together at T & J's home, about an hour from where I live. 

On the drive out, I was trying to figure out how long it had been since I'd seen them all.

In F's case, it was early October, much to my surprise. 

In T and J's case, I realized it was three months to the day; we last saw each other on New Year's Eve, at the My Morning Jacket show.

When I arrived, J gave me a modified version of her usual bone-crushing hug, to prevent squishing my "baby boobies" (which are mighty tender these days). :c) 

(As J also noted, "I'm afraid I'll break you in half if I squeeze too hard, hon!")

Here's how the conversation unfolded (and bear in mind that I attended the show in boy mode, which, as you will see, is a key factor):

C: "Do you realize that show was exactly three months ago?"

J: "Yes, T mentioned that earlier today."

C: "Three months since My Morning Jacket... wow!"

J: "And three months since that cutie was hitting on you."

C: <blank look>

J: "The cute girl?"

C: <puzzled expression>

J: "On the train?"

C: <quizzical tilt of head>

J: "Who talked to you? For the entire ride?"

C: <furrowing forehead>

J: "Who told you her date ditched her?" 

C: <sweat forming on brow from effort>

J: "Who asked if she could hold on to your arm?"

<dim image slowly begins to push aside ever-present thoughts of toffee nut iced coffee and honey bbq chips>

C: "Ooohhhh... I think I remember now..."

J: <nods encouragingly>

C: "She was tiny... and she wanted to hold on because she was trying to keep her balance."

J: "Uhh... yeah. That must be why she was pressed up against you the entire trip too, huh?"

C: "Well... it was crowded."

J: "No, hon. Not that crowded."

<extended silence>

C: "She was flirting with me?"

J: "Yes. Hard."

C: "Wow..."

<another extended silence>

C: "Are you sure?"

J (patiently): "Yes, Cass, I'm sure. In fact, it was blatantly obvious to every single person on the train... except you." 

C: "Oh."

<pregnant pause>

J: "Cass?"

C: "Yes?"

J: "When you go full-time?"

C: "Uh-huh?"

J: "Tell Captain Oblivious he's not welcome anymore. OK?"

C: "Or...?"

J: "I'm from New Jersey, sweetie. Use your imagination."

And thus began the weekend. :c)


A charming (and perfect) song from Aztec Camera, from 1983:


Jessica Lyn on April 1, 2013 at 3:03 AM said...

Cute story.. I barely know you, yet it seems to fit you so perfectly!

Stace on April 1, 2013 at 4:36 AM said...

:) I'm sitting here watching your expressions change throughout the conversation in my head!

Hope it continued so well!


Cassidy on April 1, 2013 at 7:19 PM said...

@ Jess:

Thank you, Miss J. :c) If "fitting me perfectly" is code for "utterly inept socially," then yes, I would agree wholeheartedly!

@ Stace:

I'm guessing it went like this: "OK, Stace: Imagine a ditzy, near-sighted, sorta-blonde klutz... and then make her slack-jawed. Yup... *that's* our Cass!" lol

Thank you both for the sweet comments!


Cassidy on April 1, 2013 at 7:42 PM said...

Oh, and for what it's worth, J has seen this before. :c) A few months ago we (T, J, and myself) were at a diner for breakfast. A large party - it looked like a family - walked by as they exited. After they left,J said, "Ding! Ding! Ding!", and she and T laughed.

I asked what that meant, and they laughed again. Turns out a teenaged boy (she and T guessed) was staring at me, then smiled at me as he walked past. Of course, I had absolutely no clue (do I even need to say that?). :c)

Another time I was out with a female friend. Our waitress took quite a while getting our orders, then came by several times while we waited.

After the third or so time, my friend snorted as she left. I made the fatal mistake of asking what was wrong.

Her: "God! Could she be any more obvious?"

Me: "Er... obvious about what?"

Her (incredulous) :"Why doesn't she just rip off her clothes the next time she comes over?!? It would be faster!"

Me: "What on earth are you talking about?"

Her (glaring disgustedly): "Oh, my God! Would you just... oh!"

Me: (baffled silence)

Fortunately another waitress delivered our dinner then, and my friend was happy again. lol

Just another night in the Life of Cass. ;c)

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