Speaking Confidentially (Pt. 1)

So, in addition to celebrating the Mariners landing not one, but two All-Stars on Sunday, I also managed to squeeze in the small matter of, you know, coming out to F, T, & J, three of my dearest friends.

The original plan was to tell F on Saturday night after he arrived from the music festival he, T, & J were attending. They wound up grabbing a beer or three before he headed my way, though:c), and by the time he arrived, it felt too late to drop this particular bombshell. ("Let's see... towels are in the linen closet, help yourself to anything in the fridge, and oh, by the way…")

However, I am nothing if not flexible. To head off any last-minute jitters (which, as it turns out, never materialized), I mentioned to F that I wanted to talk about something in the morning before we headed off for the festival. He asked if I could give him a hint, but I said it was nothing that couldn't keep 'til morning. I felt a tad guilty about that, but I had a hunch F would understand once I told him.

The next morning, while preparing breakfast at my apartment, he smiled and said, "So, you want to tell me something."

And I did.

As Dr. S predicted, he reacted exactly as you would hope. He was silent for a moment, then said, "It goes without saying, but you know that you have my total support, and I'm here for you no matter what. What can I do to help right now?"

As I said before, I'm a lucky girl. :c)

Again, as Dr. S predicted, he wasn't totally surprised once the initial shock wore off. He remarked that he couldn't imagine what it was like to live with a secret like that for my entire life, and how lonely it must've been. He also said it was obvious to both him and others that I was struggling with something my entire life. But he also knew how private I was, so he (and they) wanted to respect that. I have a hunch that's going to be a recurring theme as I tell more and more people.

We talked for several hours, mostly about about how I came to realize I was transgendered (which I've started to write about here). I filled him in on a number of incidents over the years when I was picked on for being different. In once case, the bullying was so bad that I wound up transferring to a different school to complete junior high.

Before I could even suggest it, F asked if I wanted to visit him once I'm more comfortable presenting as Kelly and go out in public with him. His community is a great deal more open than I suspect mine is (although we both agreed that it's still a good place to live overall). So that's something I'm already looking forward to, scary as it is.

And last but not least, and again before I could bring it up, he strongly recommended that I tell T & J that day. predicting that they a) they would be totally accepting, and b) they would feel honored that I trusted them enough to tell them (as he was).

And with that, we were off to the festival to meet up with T & J. :c)

(Love this band *and* this album...)