As promised in a previous post, here's a (necessarily) brief update on exactly what has made this blog a content-free zone the past five years. (I also simultaneously published a post about my family during the same time period.) Follow along below the fold.
Hello, all. Hope your holiday season has been a pleasant one.
As I mentioned in my last post, this isn't my favorite time of year, as is the case for many of us. Last year was particularly difficult; I was dealing with a nastier-than-usual bout of depression, for reasons that still escape me. Fortunately, this year, while still not great, has at least been tolerable. That said, I'm glad it's nearly over for another year.
We had crazy weather here the past two days. We received well over two inches of precipitation, all told. I say "precipitation" because it ran the gamut, changing literally from minute to minute at some points. We had snow, sleet, ice, freezing rain, and (mostly/fortunately) plain old rain. Oh, and gale force winds (of course).
At one point last evening we were simultaneously experiencing sleet, hail, and - wait for it - thunder and lightning. That was a first, even for New England. We received over an inch of sleet in less than an hour; luckily it switched back over to a drenching rain, which washed nearly all of it away.
In spite of the less-than-hospitable conditions, my feet stayed dry and toasty as I made my way around - the result of a fortuitous, spur-of-the moment purchase I made while visiting my friends A and B up in Canada back in early November, as noted in a previous post:
They're almost cute enough to make winter worthwhile. Almost. :c) That being said, they also enable me to share one of Elvis Costello's most beloved songs, so there's that as well:
I'll end with two songs I play every New Year's Eve and pass along their sentiments to all of you good folk. First up - Big Country, recorded live at Barrowlands in Glasgow on December 31, 1983:
I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert
But I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime
In a big country, dreams stay with you
Like a lover's voice across a mountainside
Stay alive
And another hopeful song from the same show - "Wonderland":
And finally, Pearl Jam's ragged-but-right version of "Better Things," from The Kinks:
Really glad I found this tonight - one of of my favorite bands covering another of my favorite bands!
So, here's wishing all of you the bluest skies and the very best of choruses in 2020. And I hope tomorrow we all find better things. Happy New Year, everyone!
Happy New Year's Eve (or New Year's Day, depending on where you are/when you read this), all. Just wanted to put up a post to say goodbye (or, more accurately, good riddance) to 2018 and hello to what hopefully is a much better year in 2019.
I mentioned in my previous post that my nephew C was not feeling well (to put it mildly) and was seeing a specialist on Christmas Eve. As it turned out, he wound up being admitted to the hospital and, sadly, endured an absolutely hellish week. His new medical team - who have been outstanding - finally, at 2:30 AM on Christmas morning, were able to identify what has been causing his health woes for the past 14+ months - something that eluded his previous doctors. Because he had been so ill for so long before that diagnosis, however, he had an awful week of suffering while they worked round the clock to stabilize his system.
I won't go into detail, or obvious reasons, but fortunately, he turned a corner on Saturday afternoon, and by Sunday afternoon he was feeling well enough to start walking in the hallway. If all goes well - for a switch - he'll be back home on Wednesday, He has a long road to recovery ahead of him, but these doctors are top-notch, and after an awful year-plus struggle, I feel confident he's going to be OK. That alone is reason enough to look forward to 2019. If anyone deserves to have the karmic scales start to balance out, it's my nephew C. Meanwhile, please keep him, and my sister C, in your thoughts. :c)
As for me, well I had an interesting week on the health front as well. I mentioned that I'd broken two ribs the Wednesday before Christmas. Last Friday afternoon, after a long night and day of increasing discomfort, I finally gave in and went to the emergency room after leaving work. A CT scan, chest X-ray series, and three-plus hours later, we had a verdict: I had actually broken *three* ribs, not two, as they originally thought.
And, as it turns out, I also had a bruised lung, which the previous CT scan hadn't detected. The ER doctor was astounded that I was able to carry on my regular schedule for over a week; as I told her, I seem to have an abnormal tolerance for discomfort/pain, for whatever reason. I'm feeling slightly better today, but I also have a ways to go, much like my nephew. I kidded with him today that we can punch each other in the stomach to see who's recovering faster in the coming weeks, which made him laugh. (I suspect his mother, the nurse practitioner, may have something to say about this.)
With the medical report out of the way, I want to end with several hopeful songs to ring in the new year.
The first is a song I've posted before: "Better Things," from The Kinks and their 1981 album Give The People What They Want. How this song wasn't a huge hit, and how it isn't a standard today, simply baffles me.
It's the quintissential Kinks song: melancholy, bittersweet, but with a core of bruised, hopeful optimism. I've always suspected that Ray Davies was writing this to himself, but, like all great artists, he's able to take the personal and make it universal:
Here's wishing you the bluest sky
And hoping something better comes tomorrow
Hoping all the verses rhyme
And the very best of choruses, too
Follow all the doubt and sadness
I know that better things are on the way
Here's hoping all the days ahead
Won't be as bitter as the ones behind you
Be an optimist instead
And somehow happiness will find you
Forget what happened yesterday
I know that better things are on the way
It's really good to see you rocking out
And having fun
Living like you've just begun
Accept your life and what it brings
I hope tomorrow you'll find better things
I know tomorrow you'll find better things
I know tomorrow you'll find better things
Next is another song of resilience and hope: "In A Big Country," from Big Country's classic 1983 debut album, The Crossing, which is absolutely in my top three desert island discs. This is a tremendous live version from a hometown show they played in Glasgow, Scotland on New Year's Eve 1983:
I've never seen you look like this without a reason
Another promise fallen through
Another season passes by you
I never took the smile away from anybody's face
And that's a desperate way to look
For someone who is still a child
In a big country dreams stay with you
Like a lover's voice fires the mountainside
Stay alive
I thought that pain and truth were things that really mattered
But you can't stay here with every single hope you had shattered
I'm not expecting to grow flowers in a desert
But I can live and breathe
And see the sun in wintertime
In a big country dreams stay with you
Like a lover's voice fires the mountainside
Stay alive
So take that look out of here it doesn't fit you
Because it's happened doesn't mean you've been discarded
Pull up your head off the floor, come up screaming
Cry out for everything you ever might have wanted
I thought that pain and truth were things that really mattered
But you can't stay here with every single hope you had shattered
I'm not expecting to grow flowers in a desert
But I can live and breathe
And see the sun in wintertime
In a big country dreams stay with you
Like a lover's voice fires the mountainside
Stay alive
And finally, a song from what is my Number One Desert Island Disc, Bruce Springsteen's Darkness on the Edge of Town. This is "The Promised Land":
There's a dark cloud rising from the desert floor
I've packed my bags and I'm headed straight into the storm
Gonna be a twister to blow everything down
That ain't got the faith to stand its ground
Blow away the lies that tear you apart
Blow away the dreams that break your heart
Blow away the lies that leave you nothing but lost and broken-hearted
Well the dogs on this street howl 'cause they understand
If I could take this moment into my hand
Mister I ain't a boy, no, I'm a man
And I believe in the promised land
And I believe in the promised land
Yes I believe in the promised land
Happy New Year, everyone. I hope we all find better things in the year to come.
Hope everyone else who is in the path of Hurricane Sandy is OK today.
I may have posted this already, but I thought I'd share a track from one of my Desert Island Discs, Big Country's The Crossing, from 1983. It's called "The Storm":
If you're curious, the device that lead singer/guitarist Stuart Adamson uses at the beginning to get that haunting sound from his guitar is called an EBow. He also uses it on "Porrohman," the closing song on The Crossing:
Aslightly belated Happy New Year! Things have been a bit hectic in Kelly's corner of the universe the past few weeks. Not a bad hectic, for the most part, but still hectic.
In the not-so-good department, my car was hit a few days before Christmas - on my way to my HRT doctor's office, as a matter of fact. This is the fifth time this car has been hit (I've been the hittee, not the hitter, in each instance). My brother, who's a cop, is baffled; as he noted, I'm a careful driver, and he can't figure out how I keep having such bad luck.
The other driver was very apologetic and admitted it was his fault, which helped ease the aggravation a bit. I've had to replace every door and quarter panel at least once since I bought this car back in 1998. Other than seeming to have a target painted on it, this car hasn't given me a second of trouble since I bought it. I just got it back, good as new (or close to it, I suppose). They even detailed it for me for nothing; must've felt guilty making so much money off of all of these repairs! ;c) Here's hoping I've finally expunged any remaining bad driver karma from this car for the rest of its life.
So, I've been gently encouraged by a certain someone (who shall remain nameless, but she knows who she is ;c)) to post a bit more often. So, here goes!
It's been an eventful few weeks in this little corner of the blogosphere. On the weather front, there was an earthquake, and a hurricane, and a loss of power for two-plus days.
On the transition front, my sister is visiting next week, and I'm going to come out to her. I also came out to a good friend at work, who was absolutely wonderful and has been incredibly supportive. I knew she would be, but it's still a wonderful, affirming experience each time it happens.
Unfortunately, though, I have to amend that to "a good friend where I *used to* work." Because, sadly, our project was cancelled, and we, along with a number of colleagues, were laid off effective last Friday.
No layoffs are fun (I've gone through my share, having worked in high tech as a contractor), but this one is particularly sad because this was the nicest group of people I've ever worked with. And I've been fortunate in that regard. Please send some good vibes their way; these folks deserved a much, much better fate.
Ideally, my former company will be able to bring in another contract fairly soon and call back at least some of us. Failing that, I hope to land something to get me through my current lease (which, of course, I had signed the day *before* we found out the project was in trouble). If I can do that, I'll be relocating back to Seattle next spring. In hindsight I never should've left there at all, but what's done is done. No regrets, as the song goes, right?
The timing was particularly bad because I was planning to start electrolysis this month. I was also planning to talk with M, my therapist, about a timeline to get my letter. I still plan on asking her about it this week. I'd like to get it sooner rather than later; better to have it in my hands in light of this much uncertainty.
No matter what, though, this isn't stopping my transition. It may or may not delay it, but it WILL happen. I'm not going back to where I was, and I'm going to do what I have to do to make this happen, and sooner rather than later. On that note, if anyone has a freelance writing project that will cover the cost of transitioning, moving cross-country, and, ideally, a nifty condo with a view of Puget Sound, please drop me a line. Oh, and if you want to throw in the cost of season tickets to the Mariners, feel free. <g> (There's proof of what a determined gal I am - I'm STILL a Mariners fan...)
So, that's where things stand as of now. More to follow!
In the interim, a few tunes that have been running through my head recently. First up, a classic from Tears For Fears that sums things up nicely:
Next, Jerry Garcia's excellent cover of "Waiting For A Miracle," a song about finding the courage to carry on no matter the odds, written by the great Bruce Cockburn:
And last but not least, possibly the two most uplifting songs I know:
I know you got a lot of good things happening up ahead The past is gone, it's all been said
So here's to what the future brings I hope tomorrow you'll find better things
I know tomorrow you'll find better things I know tomorow you'll find better things
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