Two Is Also Magic Number

Wednesday, December 23, 2015


Hi everyone - hope you are all having a wonderful pre-holiday week.

I'm a bit under the weather here, unfortunately; I was sick with a particularly nasty case of the flu at Thanksgiving (late November), and my fear is that it's paying a return visit. On that note, I will keep this post brief.

If you can believe it, I celebrated my second anniversary of living full-time about a week and a half ago. It feels as if it just happened and as if it was a million years ago. My life now has its share of challenges, but as a dear friend once said, my worst day as myself is infinitely better than my very best trying to pretend to be "him."

I find my connection to "him" is receding more and more. It's hard to put into words, but while I remember my life before transitioning, I find it increasingly difficult to relate to it. II never really was that person; I suppose it makes sense that I would begin to lose the connection with "him" once I was finally able to live as myself.

I would like to write more, and hopefully will, but for now I just want to say that these two years have been incredibly challenging and incredibly rewarding.

I have learned so much about myself, particularly over the past few months. I have discovered heretofore unknown measures of self-confidence and strength and courage. All of the hard, hard work I have put in is paying off. It was, and is, totally worth the struggle.

I am proud to say that I have never tried to take the easy way out. I told myself I was going to work as hard as I can to have a successful transition, and I was not going to allow fear to dictate my life. And I have done so, and then some. And now I am beginning to reap the rewards of choosing to believe in myself, and to believe that I deserved to be  happy living the life I want as myself.

Next year is going to be the biggest year of my life. I am taking steps on several fronts to make it so. I will be writing about it in the weeks to come. Promise. I want to have a record of this period of my life so I can look back later and reflect on what it was like in the moment. So stay tuned. I cannot wait to begin the next phase of my journey.

I will end with a few pictures of myself , beginning with the day I went full-time in 2013(!), and my subsequent one- and two-year anniversaries. Photographs can only tell a piece of the story, but I think you will be able to see evidence of how far I have come in those two years.

December 2013:



December 2014:


December 2015:


For anyone reading this who is thinking of transitioning, I hope these pictures offer proof that if you are willing to work hard and believe in yourself, you CAN make your dream come true. (Then again, perhaps you may choose to view them as a cautionary tale. lol Regardless, I hope they help. :D)

***

I would be remiss if I didn't include a Christmas song or two, and I think I've picked two tracks guaranteed to put you in the mood.

Here are Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings with a spine-tingling version of "Silent Night," off their wonderful new Christmas album It's A Holiday Soul Party:


As Stephen Colbert notes in his introduction, the entire album really is this good. :c)

Next is one from a personal favorite, Bruce Cockburn, and his lovely take on the story of Christmas from his classic 1991 album Nothing But A Burning Light:


Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone!

 

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