Musings: My Protector

A recent post consisted of the result of a recent writing exercise in which I took part. The exercise was to write a letter of compassion/like/love to yourself. I did something a bit different and wrote a letter from pre-transition me to myself, Cassidy. I decided that turnabout is fair play, as the saying goes, so this is a brief letter from myself, Cassidy, to pre-transition me. Follow along below the jump.

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Musings: My Letter To Me

As promised/threatened in the initial post of Cassidy's Quest: The Reboot, I'm going to make an effort to write on a regular basis again. This is a short one, the result of a recent writing exercise in which I took part. The assignment: write a letter of compassion/like/love to yourself. I decided to do something a bit different and write a letter from pre-transition me to myself, Cassidy. Here's what he/I had to say. 🙂

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Well she wrote me a letter...

So, I'm still trying to let yesterday sink in. I saw M, my therapist, yesterday afternoon, and asked what the process was for her to be able to write my letter to start HRT.

As it turns out, that *was* the process. :c) She was just waiting for me to ask.

She said she'd be happy to give me a referral, and had a few suggestions on who I might consider. (There are only a few near where I live - well, sort of near. Nothing is all that close, unfortunately.) Her top choice was highly recommended by several people in my support group, which was reassuring. 

I was driving back home in a bit of a daze - a happy daze, if you will (sorry for the pun!). All I kept thinking was "you're really doing this, you're really doing this…" :c)

It seemed - and still seems - a bit surreal, but I'm excited, a bit nervous, and, more than anything, still amazed that I'm actually doing what I've always tried to convince myself I could never do. I know it's one more step in a long, long process, and not the be all and end all. But if you had told me I'd be here at the beginning of the year, I never, ever would've believed it.

Hmm… is it ethical to bribe a doctor to get an appointment as soon as possible? Theoretically, of course. My friend… uh, Nelly, would like to know… <g>

More to follow!

Not that any reason is ever needed, but this is a good opportunity to listen to some Alex Chilton:

He was 16 when he recorded this!

And while we're at it, some Paul Westerberg too: