(The Angels Wanna Wear My) Red Boots

Hello, all. Hope your holiday season has been a pleasant one. 

As I mentioned in my last post, this isn't my favorite time of year, as is the case for many of us. Last year was particularly difficult; I was dealing with a nastier-than-usual bout of depression, for reasons that still escape me. Fortunately, this year, while still not great, has at least been tolerable. That said, I'm glad it's nearly over for another year.

We had crazy weather here the past two days. We received well over two inches of precipitation, all told. I say "precipitation" because it ran the gamut, changing literally from minute to minute at some points. We had snow, sleet, ice, freezing rain, and (mostly/fortunately) plain old rain. Oh, and gale force winds (of course).

At one point last evening we were simultaneously experiencing sleet, hail, and - wait for it - thunder and lightning. That was a first, even for New England. We received over an inch of sleet in less than an hour; luckily it switched back over to a drenching rain, which washed nearly all of it away.

In spite of the less-than-hospitable conditions, my feet stayed dry and toasty as I made my way around - the result of a fortuitous, spur-of-the moment purchase I made while visiting my friends A and B up in Canada back in early November, as noted in a previous post:

They're almost cute enough to make winter worthwhile. Almost. :c) That being said, they also enable me to share one of Elvis Costello's most beloved songs, so there's that as well:

I'll end with two songs I play every New Year's Eve and pass along their sentiments to all of you good folk. First up - Big Country, recorded live at Barrowlands in Glasgow on December 31, 1983:

I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert

But I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime

In a big country, dreams stay with you

Like a lover's voice across a mountainside

Stay alive

And another hopeful song from the same show - "Wonderland":

And finally, Pearl Jam's ragged-but-right version of "Better Things," from The Kinks:

Really glad I found this tonight - one of of my favorite bands covering another of my favorite bands!

So, here's wishing all of you the bluest skies and the very best of choruses in 2020. And I hope tomorrow we all find better things. Happy New Year, everyone!

Another New Year Flu By

Happy New Year, all. Hope you had all had a lovely holiday season.

I'm going to keep this short, for, as the title indicates, I'm battling the flu. Again. Sigh.

I had it back in November, and unfortunately it decided to pay a return visit just after Christmas.

I managed to fight it off for several days, but since Friday evening I've basically been in bed. Not necessarily sleeping, mind you; a wracking cough has been waking me up throughout the night.

I was hoping it would go away, but last night was the most unpleasant yet. It's painful to breathe at times as a result, and my ribs are sore as well. Bleah. I'm hoping it's not bronchitis (I had it in November as well), but I suspect it might be. It wouldn't be the first time I've had it multiple times in short order. Hopefully I'm wrong.

More to follow when I'm feeling up to it, including (buried lead alert) seeing my parents for the first time in nearly two years. The short version: I survived, helped in no small part by the presence of my sister and nephew. I think the result was the most I can hope for, under the circumstances.

Take care, everyone, and here's hoping 2017 is good to you all. :c)

***

Oh, and it probably goes without saying, but the photo above was not taken the past few days! :D It's from about three weeks ago. I wouldn't subject you to a shot of me now. ;-p

***

This feels like a particularly appropriate song to begin 2017. It's the leadoff track from R.E.M.'s great 1986 album Lifes Rich Pageant (sp). "Let's begin again," indeed.

Winter Wonderland - For Real!

 

Hello, and Happy Pre-Christmas Eve, everyone. Hope you have all finished your holiday shopping, and been good girls and boys. (I plead the Fifth, personally.)

I've been dressing in seasonal colors the past few days, starting with a green dress on Wednesday and a white blouse and red maxi-skirt yesterday. Today I went with my red blazer, above. (If you look closely you can spot the green scrunchie holding up my ponytail too.)

This is just a brief post about my adventures last weekend, and not the second of the promised pair of posts mentioned recently. I hope to finish that one tomorrow, lest I further tempt fate with Santa. Read on below the fold for all of the details. :-p

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Here's Wishing You The Bluest Skies

Happy New Year, everyone. Hope the holidays were good for everyone.

I am still here. But I will not sugarcoat things: the past two weeks, particularly Christmas week, have been the most painful and draining of my life.

I touched on some of what happened with my family in my posts just before Christmas. I learned even more about what happened in the next few days (I spent the holidays apart from my parents and my brother's family) from my sister, who visited me Christmas night with my nephew C.

I will write about the family matters soon, but suffice it to say it confirms everything I suspected, or, really, that I knew all along.

Right now I am as exhausted as I have ever been, other than when I was recovering from mono several years ago. But this is close. I slept for nearly 20 hours on Saturday. Last night I came down with a nasty stomach bug that is going around, and missed work. I slept from about 8:00 AM until nearly 5:00.

I've been meeting regularly with my therapist the past few weeks; we met three times last week, at her suggestion. I'm glad we did. She is concerned about how exhausted I am. I have a doctor's appointment scheduled for next week, and I will discuss matters with her at that time.

I carried over a week of vacation with the intent of using it for a trip in the next few months, but I may need to use it before then simply to… well, do nothing. I really want to save it… but not at the expense of getting really sick.

In spite of the enormous heartache and loss of the past two weeks - and as far as I am concerned I am done with my brother and sister-in-law - I am proud of myself. The past two weeks were the culmination of the two and half hardest years of my life.

And I survived.

In fact, I grew enormously. (Well, OK, not my boobs or butt; you can't have everything, I suppose.)

"He" could never have stood up to my parents, or my brother, the way I did. Nor could he have resolved to take the high road no matter what they chose to say or do - and then followed through.

But I did.

I am bruised and battered… but I am done with the worst of it, I suspect.

I will write a new post about my new year's resolution soon. Essentially, it is this: 

I am now going to focus on ME.

I am going to get in the best shape of my life.

I am going to learn how to look my best.

And I am going to embrace my new life. 

Because I earned it.

Look out, 2014. 

Here comes Cass!

:D

***

I've used this song before, but it's such a perfect song for new beginnings I am going to post it again. Also, you can never have too much of the Kinks in your day!

So… here's wishing you all the bluest skies. Oh, and the very best of choruses, too. :c)

Following Up

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. :-)

I wanted to add a quick update to my most recent post.

First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone who left comments or sent email and/or text messages after last nights' post. (Special shout-out to Calie, who didn't give up after Blogger decided to use her comment for its holiday meal, but instead sent me a lovely, heartfelt message by email.)  That means a great deal to me. You are the best, all of you.

(That includes you, April, even though you were just trolling for ideas for my Christmas present. :D)

I wound up missing Thanksgiving dinner today. I started feeling poorly last night, and within a few hours I was achy, coughing, and sneezing, all of which kept me up far too late.

I finally fell asleep as dawn was breaking, and awoke around noon. I knew as soon as I did that there was no way I could make it to dinner.

I always get sick around the holidays - last year, unfortunately, at Christmas - so this was not wholly unexpected. But I am certain the stress of the other evening played a part too.

In any case, I wound up spending the day either in bed or on my couch, sneezing and coughing. Not the way I prefer to spend my holiday.

I told my therapist M recently that I suspected my health would take a marked turn for the better shortly after I went full-time. She agreed. Both she and friends like Kelli, April, Stace, and others have told me I will not be aware of just how much of a toll GD was taking until it is gone. I will be quite happy when that happens.

My nephew C checked in via text (my voice is shot at the moment) to make sure I was OK, and to tell me he was behind me 100%. He said his mother (my sister C) is still furious, both at my parents and at my brother and sister-in-law.

He asked if I was coming for Christmas. I replied that it wasn't up to me, but that I wanted to.

His response was instantaneous.

"I want you there and so does Mom. As yourself."

I thanked him, and said that wasn't how anyone else in the family saw it.

"Well, they don't get to decide that. You don't tell them how to live their life, do you?"

I mentioned that my brother and sister--in-law may well say they won't come unless I go as "him."

"Who gives a damn whether they come or not? If they don't want to come, they can stay home."

I replied that Nana and Papa may well side with them.

"To hell with them. All of them."

Have I mentioned lately what a good kid he is?

For his response alone I am thankful today.

I am also thankful for my wonderful friends, and for my co-workers who have been there from the moment I told them.

And for April, who makes me laugh harder than anyone else ever has, even on days like today when I am feeling blue, physically and emotionally. And even when that means she says something that makes me spit out my tea all over my laptop - twice. (Repair bill is in the mail, bitch.)

OK, time for this girl to get some rest. It is very cold here tonight, so I broke out the heavy artillery - my footie PJs:

Mock me if you feel you must. I, however, will not be shivering tonight. :c)

Night, everyone...

***

In honor of Thanksgiving, some quiet, meditative music from George Winston's lovely 1982 Christmas album, December:

This album perfectly captures the melancholy nature of the holiday, as well as its joyous side. I never tire of it. Here's another beautiful track from it: