More Musings, The Sequel: A (Slight) Change of Plans :D

Hello all, and a happy Saturday/Sunday to everyone. Hope you're doing well.

This is just a brief post I'm putting up about a change of plans I decided on this week. In fact, most of it will actually be about the songs that came to mind when I decided to write this. lol That said, the main reason I wrote this, as you will see, is so I've committed to this decision in writing. :c) 

I mentioned in my last few posts that I had three writing projects I'm going work on, and that I'd decided to start with a series of posts about my experience having my GCS in Montreal. After that, I would tackle two other projects I've had on the back burner for a long, long time. 

These are larger, more complex - and, in the case of the project I had planned to work on after the Montreal series, more challenging and painful: my childhood.

Well, I started work on the Montreal/GCS project this week, spending about eight hours total over four nights. And it was going well.

But after the second night, I began to feel myself being drawn to this second, more difficult project. This feeling didn't subside after two more nights of writing.

I've learned to trust my instincts, particularly on important matters such as this.

So, I've decided to put the Montreal/GCS project on hold for the time being. 

Instead, I'm finally taking on writing about the one thing I've never really allowed myself to truly face, even after all these years. 

Why now? I don't know. But that voice inside is never wrong, for bad or good.

So, I started late last night, and then for the entire afternoon today. About nine or ten hours, all told.

I haven't gotten to the challenging part yet. But it's coming up.

And this time I'm ready. Once and for all.

I'm not going to post it until the entire thing is done (in multiple posts, based on how much I've already written). It's going to take a significant amount of time. 

But I will finish it. 

And I will post it.

And based on my experience in finishing the other posts in The Chronicles of Cass series, it will be an exorcism as much as, if not more than, it is a writing project.

I'm going to post about other topics in the interim to keep up the discipline of posting, so it won't be total radio silence. :c) So keep your eyes on this space! 'Til next time...

***

I heard a song early in the week that I suspect may have played a role in why I decided to switch up the order of my upcoming posts. I don't think it was a coincidence that I came across this particular song at this particular time.

It was written by Colin Hay, who was the singer and main songwriter in the Australian band Men at Work. The band's first two albums were quite successful, particularly their debut, Business As Usual (1982), which was a massive global hit. 

Cargo, the 1983 follow-up, wasn't quite as successful commercially (although it still did very well), but showed real artistic growth. Unfortunately, their third and final album, 1985's Two Hearts, was a disappointment both commercially and creatively. 

The band was dropped by their record label and, after several fruitless years trying to recapture the magic, they broke up. Several years after that his record label dropped Hay from his contract as a solo artist as well after three unsuccessful albums. 

He entered a dark period in his life, trying to reconcile where he currently was - on his own, with no recording contract and no audience to speak of - with where he had been - worldwide fame, Grammy awards, platinum albums, and on and on. 

The result of that struggle became the basis for his most beloved, and enduring, song as a solo artist: "Waiting For My Real Life To Begin," first recorded for his 1994 Topanga album. No need to elaborate further; this wonderful, moving live version speaks for itself:

The American TV series Scrubs , ostensibly a sitcom, used this song to great effect in one of its best episodes, "My Philosophy." While ostensibly a sitcom, "My Philosophy" demonstrates how it could, and frequently did, segue in an instant to powerful drama. Both this episode and show are well-worth your time. Also, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the terrific 2015 documentary about Hay, also titled Waiting For My Real Life To Begin. It's wonderful.

***

After their debut, Men At Work were unfairly labeled by many as a lightweight, jokey band. But like their spiritual cousins Barenaked Ladies, there is frequently more going on for the careful listener. "Overkill," written by Hay, was released as the leadoff single from their second album Cargo. Both the song and its excellent video made it clear that Men At Work, and Colin Hay, had much more to offer than easy laughs:

In an interview, Hay was once asked which song he was proudest of writing. He cited "Overkill," particularly what he acknowledged were its deeply personal lyrics:

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations that
I know will be alright
It's just overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night
My heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away 
Ghosts appear and fade away

He went on to say that after completing "Overkill" he knew for the first time that he was a real songwriter. And rightly so, as a song that still stands up decades later proves the point.

***

Since this post is about changes, I thought I should end with a few songs about change. First up is "Change," from Patty Griffin's 1998 Flaming Red album. Her albums are almost exclusively acoustic-based, with Flaming Red as the lone exception. An out-and-out rock album, Flaming Red is a showcase for Griffin's hurricane of a voice. If you've never seen pictures of her, she's a tiny slip of a thing, but that voice is a force of nature, as this song shows.

 

Next, a second song about change - one that spans decades. 

Woody Guthrie's daughter Nora invited Jay Farrar (Uncle Tupelo, Son Volt) to add music for some of her father's unpublished lyrics to commemorate Woody's 100th birthday in 2012. Farrar, in turn, invited Jim James (My Morning Jacket), Will Johnson (South San Gabriel and Centro Matic), and Anders Parker, a New Orleans-based songwriter to collaborate.

The result from the ad hoc collective was called New Multitudes, which served simultaneously as the name of the group, the album, and one of its songs. Critically acclaimed upon its release in 2012, Farrar, James, Johnson, and Parker supported the album with a brief nine show tour. 

I was fortunate enough to see them at their final appearance at the 2012 Newport Folk Festival. As good as album was, watching them perform live was even better. The guitars were turned up, adding a real edge to the songs. 

That being said, my favorite songs from the album are two of its quietest. The music for "Changing World" was composed by Jim James; his one-of-a-kind voice sings the verses, while all four members share the chorus.

My other favorite song, written by Will Johnson, is "Corine, My Sheba Queen," a hushed duet with James. Anders Parker provides the gorgeous guitar parts.

 

This song in particular sounds as if it could have been written yesterday - or 200 years ago. The stunning black and white photography perfectly captures the song's shimmering, ghostly beauty.

***

And on that lovely note will this post end. Have a good week, all...

Leftovers

OK... so I know I said I was taking a brief break from writing on Saturday; what I *meant* was I was taking one from writing heavy posts. What, that wasn't clear? Well, who is to blame for that?!?

[cough cough]

;c)

So, yes... 

In the interim, I decided I'd just throw together a bunch of stuff to keep the ol' writing muscles limber.

So... here we go!

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Crazy Days... and a Big Decision

Well, I started this post about a half-dozen times since last Friday… but things kept happening that made me realize I had to start over. Again. lol 

I told M, my therapist, on Saturday that I feel as if I'm living "light-weeks" since starting to transition. She laughed… until I ran through the events of the week. Then she shook her head and expressed her amazement at how much I try to cram into one week!

Last week was particularly packed, so much so that I could write posts about pretty much everything that happened. A few were bad, most were good. And I made a pretty darn big decision. 

I'll do my best to write about at least SOME of these in the days to come. And hope that things stay calm enough to let me do so. :c)

So, without further ado:

***

The bad news first: I didn't get the job. Not much to say about that, but it's very disappointing. 

Good news: I'm pretty sure I'm NOT going to the other office, the one that would make my transition exponentially more difficult. That may change… but I think I'm safe for the time being.

This means I can finally move out of my parents house - which M told me flat out on Saturday is absolutely essential. "That is a toxic environment for you," she said, adding that she did not use that term lightly.

I've scheduled visits to look at several apartments in the next few days. I want to be in my new home by mid-September at the latest. The sooner the better… for reasons you'll soon understand.

Bad news: I lost my claddagh ring, which has a great deal of sentimental value to me. M, however, had a different take on it, which I will share in another post.

Good news: I came out to four more friends last week: my friends R & B, who are married, and my friend T2 and her daughter M. I will absolutely write about this as well, as both conversations were quite powerful. (T2 and I both cried several times.) It's wonderful to share my news with the people I love… but it is draining too. All part of the process, I suppose.

Good news: the Newport Folk Festival was superb. Again, I will write more about it, but for now, I will say this:

GARY CLARK JR is AMAZING. Prepare to be awed:

He was ASTONISHING, as you can see. And hear. :c)

I'll post some of my pics in another post. They turned out well, I think, mostly because my new camera truly IS idiot-proof. lol Plus, it's hard to take a bad shot of Newport. It is truly beautiful.

***

And my big decision - which I will *absolutely* write a separate post about:

I picked the date on which I am going to go full-time.

It's july 26th, 2013.

Why that day in particular? 

It's the first day of next year's Folk Festival. I decided while I was there two weekends ago that the next time I attended this festival that I would do it as myself. 

And I will. 

Newport has been a magical place in my life from the beginning… and I can't imagine a better place in which to truly start my  life, at long last.

M, my therapist, thinks it is more than reasonable. It will be 20 months into HRT, and two-and-a-half years since I decided to transition. 

I have so much to do - electrolysis/laser, working on my voice, getting comfortable going out as myself… but I know I can do it. And by giving myself a deadline, I WILL do it. As M told me, "When you make up your mind to do something, nothing will stop you, will it?"

No. Nothing. :c)

I'm scared (OK, terrified) and exhilarated in equal measure… which means I must be doing something right!

Time to call it a night - more to follow this week! 

***

To wrap up this post, here are two more of the amazing acts from this year's festival. First up, the always-superb Wilco:

And next, New Multitudes, a one-off group consisting of Anders Parker (Varnaline), Will Johnson (Centro-Matic and South San Gabriel), Jay Farrar (Son Volt), and Jim James (My Morning Jacket). They came together to record an album of new music they collaborated on to accompany unrecorded Woody Guthrie lyrics. The results, as you can hear below, are enchanting:

This was even more breath-taking in person, if that is possible. Incidentally, I'm just out of camera range, next to the gentleman with the red hair at the bottom left of the screen. Such are the pitfalls of being short. :c)

No Static At All

Get ready!

For Stacks of Wax!

For Platters That Matter!

For The Top of the Pops!

For the songs making the tooth on the one-armed tone cobra ache because they're Just! So! Sweet!!!

...

Uh.. sorry. Channeling my inner Top 40 DJ (circa 1957) there... (I know, I know... who hasn't, right?)

Anyway, pull your chair up to the virtual Victrola, kids - it's time to give a listen to the tunes tickling the ear of Cass currently!

(Sorry again. No more patter. I promise...)

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