And Then There Were Three...

Wow - three straight days with new posts! I guess three really is... well, you know. ;c)

This one will be brief, however. As I mentioned in my last post, I'm open as to what I'll be writing about. It will definitely be about where I'm going - or hope to be going - but it might be useful to look back as well. 

There were several things I'd planned to write about here that never happened, for one reason or another. I was chatting with my friend A this evening, and she immediately brought up the topic I was thinking about: my surgery in Montreal, back in...

September of 2017(!).

Damn, it was a while ago.

Anyway, this feels like the best thing to write about first. It was the culmination of my journey to be myself... and also where I think I lost the plot a bit afterwards. Hopefully writing about it will shed some light on why.

I don't know how much detail I'll go into, partly because, well, some of it I simply don't remember, thanks to the drugs. lol I promise it won't be a minute-by-minute account, nor will it be a photo essay. :D It *will* discuss the experience before and after, though, which I hope people will find interesting. (Spoiler alert: nurses are angels, as are the staff at both the clinic and the post-surgery recovery center.)

And as mentioned above, I'm hoping that writing about the experience will help me process it - and my entire transition, really. I never really went into detail here at the time, but it was a challenge. My therapist told me recently that it was one of the most difficult she has seen - not physically (although it was at times), but emotionally. 

I have a hunch that my instincts are telling me this is a good topic to start with because there are things associated with it that I've never really let myself feel, or process. I think I know some of them, but others... not so much.

So, I guess there's no time like the present, right?

I likely won't be posting every day, but I hope to do so at least a few times a week. And I may digress for a post or two if the mood strikes. But overall I want to start exercising these particular writing muscles. and there's no other way than to write.

Until the next time, then, stay safe, and we'll see you soon. :c)

***

It's been so long since I've done these regularly that there are many albums I've never written about here. So I'll start with two of my favorites from last year.

First up is a track from Jason Isbell's stellar album Reunions. "Only Children" is a spare, haunting elegy. I'm reluctant to say more; it reveals its secrets with repeated listenings. And it's worth the time. 

The video is a quiet stunner too. I'm generally not a fan of conceptual videos (as opposed to performance clips), but this is definitely an exception. It's certainly open to interpretation; all I'll say is that things are not what they seem.

Second is a song from an artist I did write about last year (well, late 2019, actually): the pride of Ottawa Ontario, Kathleen Edwards. She took a six year break from her music career to open a coffee shop and recharge her batteries. 

The result is my favorite album from last year. One listen to "Glenfern," the lead track from her album Total Freedom (performed here at her coffee shop, Quitters - see my earlier post for the story behind that name!), will show you why. It's an affectionate, nostalgic look back at her marriage to Colin Cripps, who is now a member of Blue Rodeo. Clearly the time off did her a world of good.

And as a bonus song, how could I not include this one? Count along, everyone...

Never get tired of that one. And am I the only who finds it quietly moving? Such a lovely song.

That will do it for this post. See you in a few days, folks!

Cass's Glasses Redux (a/k/a The Vision Thing, Plus Songs for a Summer Weekend)

Happy Friday everyone. Just a brief post to share a few things while I work on several longer posts (honest!). 

First, I thought I'd share a pic of me wearing my new glasses. Well, relatively new; I got them in late March (yes, I need to post way more often): 

This is my day-to-day business look, for better or worse ;c) - other than when I remember to a) bring my contacts and b) actually put them in (spoiler alert: not very often - ditziness still reigns, alas). Anyway, I like the new spectacles quite a bit. 

This is also how I usually wear my hair (also for better or worse). :c) For some reason most of my pictures show me with it down; in reality, though, I typically wear it up, simply because I don't want to get up at the crack of dawn and spend an hour-plus trying to tame it. (First world problems, I know... :c))

I also thought I'd share a few songs from two albums I've really been enjoying this year. Both of these albums have one thing in common: Jason Isbell, who both produced both records and played on them with his band, the 400 Unit (which features his wife Amanda Shires, moonlighting from her solo career).

First up is Strand of Oaks, who released several terrific albums the past 5-6 years that I somehow missed out on completely. Fortunately I'm making up for lost time, starting with with this year's Eraserland album. Here's a clip of his performance of "Ruby" on Stephen Colbert's show. In addition to Mr. Isbell (lead guitar) and Miss Shires (fiddle), his band features several members of My Morning Jacket, and, on drums, Will Johnson, of Centro-Matic/South San Gabriel. Great stuff:

The second album is one of my two favorite albums of 2019 so far (along with Bruce Springsteen's remarkable Western Stars), Josh Ritter's Fever Breaks. I rarely comment on politics online, but "All Some Kind of Dream" captures how I feel about America the past three years under the Orange Sh*tgibbon - albeit with far more eloquence (and much, much less profanity) than I am capable of. I think in years to come - assuming we still have a functioning democracy, that is - this will be remembered as one of the songs that sum up the horror/sh*t show. Be sure to listen to the lyrics on this one:

I'll end with another song from Fever Breaks, "Old Black Magic." I usually post live performances of songs in my posts, but Jason Isbell uncorks a tremendous, blistering, minute-plus guitar solo at the end of the studio version that is so smoking-hot I just had to share it. Play this one LOUD:

That will do it for now. Look for several longer posts in the near future (again, honest!). Have a good weekend, everyone...

HRT: Year Four (a/k/a Jugs (Not))

Hello all! This is a somewhat belated anniversary post. I have been battling the flu for over a week, if you can believe it. I haven't been this sick for nearly three years. Hopefully it's drawing to a close shortly. I am more than ready, believe me.

As mentioned above, this is an anniversary post, albeit a late one. It was four years ago - November 19, 2011 - that I began HRT. It seems both a lifetime ago *and* just moments ago.

I spent Thanksgiving with my dear friends T & J, as I had last year. Amazingly, it was the first time we had been together since, for a variety of reasons. While we all agreed that a year was far too long, an unintended result is the perspective that it brings.

Within minutes of my arrival, both T and J commented on how different I was from the last time they'd seen me. And I knew exactly what they meant.

I have come a long, long way in the past year, particularly in the last few months. Not just in terms of my appearance (although I have seen marked changes on that front), but, far more importantly, in my comfort level and self-confidence.

J echoed something I have heard from a number of people over the past few months: "You aren't apologizing for who you are anymore, Cass; you OWN it. And that makes all the difference."

She was correct: I do know who I am now. And I like who I am. A lot. And it shows.

I'll write more about this, but I see the difference in how people interact with me, and in how I interact with them. Confidence is a funny thing, I will simply say that. :c)

More to come in a future post, but I wanted to acknowledge just how far I've come in a year. And believe me: you ain't seen nothing yet. By this time next year things are going to be even better. I will make it happen. So stay tuned, folks; it's going to be quite a ride! But for now... I need to take another nap. (Stupid flu!) lol

***

A quick thank you to another J for the lovely red blouse I'm wearing in the photo at the top of the post. Thank you, hon - for the blouse *and* the dress! :D

***

Jason Isbell has become one of my very favorite songwriters over the past few years. He is the real deal: great singer, songwriter, guitarist... and interpreter. Here is his take on one of the best from Guy Clark, the songwriter's songwriter:

And the master's version:

And one more:

Whew... goosebumps, every time! It really doesn't get any better than that...

Vignettes: Newport Picture-Palooza!

Greetings and salutations, one and all!

Just wanted to post more pics from my weekend in Newport, both of the performers I saw and some slightly less unkempt (I hope) shots of myself. lol

Follow along below the jump!

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Vignettes: Vacation!!!

Greetings from my long-awaited, and badly needed, vacation! I got back late Monday evening from the Newport Folk Festival, which was wonderful as always.

I plan to write a longer post about my experiences, because in addition to wanting to share some of my impressions of the performers I saw, I want to write about what was an important weekend in my transition:

I spent the entire weekend as myself for the first time.

:-p

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