A Quiet Night

So.

I have several longer posts I want - that I need - to write…

But not tonight.

Tonight, I need a brief break.

I saw M, my therapist today. She listened in silence to the events of the past two weeks - my cousin's untimely passing, the ongoing stress at work, not getting the apartment I badly wanted, and more.

When I finished, she said, "You look weary."

"I'm tired," I said, nodding in agreement.

"Not tired," she said. "Weary. There's a difference."

Yes, there is.

I typically am energetic, and can usually will myself to get started even when I don't feel like it. I walked for over two and a half hours today, for example, after driving nearly three hours round trip on a few hours sleep for my appointment with M.

But when I got home, for the first time in memory, I couldn't make myself start work on the two posts I mentioned above.

And I don't feel badly about that.

Well, not much. :c)

So I'm going to sit back, listen to some music, and just… be.

It feels nice to be able to do that. For most of my life the thought of being alone with my thoughts was anathema. It made me deeply uncomfortable, to put it mildly.

No more.

I like myself. I don't have to hide from who I am.

The posts will get written. And published. Maybe. One makes me quite uncomfortable; I may or may not post that one. We shall see.

But for now, I'm OK with giving myself a night to kick back.

***

Oh, I do have one positive thing to report before I go:

I registered for First Event today.

I wanted to go last January, badly, but, being unemployed at the time, I thought eating was a better choice.

I'm very excited, but, also, to be honest, more than a little nervous - OK, scared - about going.

But that tells me I need to do it.

As the saying goes, "All glory comes from daring to begin."

Can't wait for January to get here (now *those* are words I never imagined typing!)…

***

To close this out, here's another clip from the Gary Clark Jr. I have been listening non-stop since seeing him at Newport three weeks ago. His guitar solos (yes, there are several) start at incendiary and build from there, as you'll see. Watch this one the whole way through!

Cannot wait for him to visit this neck of the woods again!