Here's To What The Future Brings

Happy New Year's Eve (or New Year's Day, depending on where you are/when you read this), all. Just wanted to put up a post to say goodbye (or, more accurately, good riddance) to 2018 and hello to what hopefully is a much better year in 2019.

I mentioned in my previous post that my nephew C was not feeling well (to put it mildly) and was seeing a specialist on Christmas Eve. As it turned out, he wound up being admitted to the hospital and, sadly, endured an absolutely hellish week. His new medical team - who have been outstanding - finally, at 2:30 AM on Christmas morning, were able to identify what has been causing his health woes for the past 14+ months - something that eluded his previous doctors. Because he had been so ill for so long before that diagnosis, however, he had an awful week of suffering while they worked round the clock to stabilize his system.

I won't go into detail, or obvious reasons, but fortunately, he turned a corner on Saturday afternoon, and by Sunday afternoon he was feeling well enough to start walking in the hallway. If all goes well - for a switch - he'll be back home on Wednesday, He has a long road to recovery ahead of him, but these doctors are top-notch, and after an awful year-plus struggle, I feel confident he's going to be OK. That alone is reason enough to look forward to 2019. If anyone deserves to have the karmic scales start to balance out, it's my nephew C. Meanwhile, please keep him, and my sister C, in your thoughts. :c)

As for me, well I had an interesting week on the health front as well. I mentioned that I'd broken two ribs the Wednesday before Christmas. Last Friday afternoon, after a long night and day of increasing discomfort, I finally gave in and went to the emergency room after leaving work. A CT scan, chest X-ray series, and three-plus hours later, we had a verdict: I had actually broken *three* ribs, not two, as they originally thought.

And, as it turns out, I also had a bruised lung, which the previous CT scan hadn't detected. The ER doctor was astounded that I was able to carry on my regular schedule for over a week; as I told her, I seem to have an abnormal tolerance for discomfort/pain, for whatever reason. I'm feeling slightly better today, but I also have a ways to go, much like my nephew. I kidded with him today that we can punch each other in the stomach to see who's recovering faster in the coming weeks, which made him laugh. (I suspect his mother, the nurse practitioner, may have something to say about this.)

With the medical report out of the way, I want to end with several hopeful songs to ring in the new year.

The first is a song I've posted before: "Better Things," from The Kinks and their 1981 album Give The People What They Want. How this song wasn't a huge hit, and how it isn't a standard today, simply baffles me.

It's the quintissential Kinks song: melancholy, bittersweet, but with a core of bruised, hopeful optimism. I've always suspected that Ray Davies was writing this to himself, but, like all great artists, he's able to take the personal and make it universal:

Here's wishing you the bluest sky
And hoping something better comes tomorrow
Hoping all the verses rhyme
And the very best of choruses, too
Follow all the doubt and sadness
I know that better things are on the way

Here's hoping all the days ahead
Won't be as bitter as the ones behind you
Be an optimist instead
And somehow happiness will find you
Forget what happened yesterday
I know that better things are on the way

It's really good to see you rocking out
And having fun
Living like you've just begun
Accept your life and what it brings
I hope tomorrow you'll find better things
I know tomorrow you'll find better things
I know tomorrow you'll find better things

Next is another song of resilience and hope: "In A Big Country," from Big Country's classic 1983 debut album, The Crossing, which is absolutely in my top three desert island discs. This is a tremendous live version from a hometown show they played in Glasgow, Scotland on New Year's Eve 1983:

I've never seen you look like this without a reason
Another promise fallen through
Another season passes by you

I never took the smile away from anybody's face
And that's a desperate way to look
For someone who is still a child

In a big country dreams stay with you
Like a lover's voice fires the mountainside
Stay alive

I thought that pain and truth were things that really mattered
But you can't stay here with every single hope you had shattered

I'm not expecting to grow flowers in a desert
But I can live and breathe
And see the sun in wintertime

In a big country dreams stay with you
Like a lover's voice fires the mountainside
Stay alive

So take that look out of here it doesn't fit you
Because it's happened doesn't mean you've been discarded
Pull up your head off the floor, come up screaming
Cry out for everything you ever might have wanted

I thought that pain and truth were things that really mattered
But you can't stay here with every single hope you had shattered

I'm not expecting to grow flowers in a desert
But I can live and breathe
And see the sun in wintertime
In a big country dreams stay with you
Like a lover's voice fires the mountainside
Stay alive

And finally, a song from what is my Number One Desert Island Disc, Bruce Springsteen's Darkness on the Edge of Town. This is "The Promised Land":

There's a dark cloud rising from the desert floor
I've packed my bags and I'm headed straight into the storm
Gonna be a twister to blow everything down
That ain't got the faith to stand its ground

Blow away the lies that tear you apart
Blow away the dreams that break your heart
Blow away the lies that leave you nothing but lost and broken-hearted

Well the dogs on this street howl 'cause they understand
If I could take this moment into my hand
Mister I ain't a boy, no, I'm a man
And I believe in the promised land
And I believe in the promised land
Yes I believe in the promised land

Happy New Year, everyone. I hope we all find better things in the year to come.

A Christmas Eve Playlist

Merry Christmas Eve, all. Hope your holiday preparations are proceeding apace.

Still recovering from my broken ribs here, which are putting a serious crimp in my ability to... well, do much of anything, really, but particularly to breathe, walk, and sleep. Oh well. All you can do is give them time to heal, so that's what I'm doing. Sitting still is hard, but you do what you have to do.

Unfortunately, my nephew is dealing with his health issues again. He's had a rough go of it this year, so please keep him in your thoughts. He's seeing a specialist this afternoon (the doctor kindly agreed to see him on short notice), so hopefully she can start to sort out what has been happening. Fingers crossed that 2019 will be a better year for him.

I thought I'd share some Christmas songs for the rest of this post for your listening pleasure. Here's hoping your Christmas Eve is as peaceful as the one Calvin & Hobbes are enjoying, above, and that Santa brings you exactly what you want. Merry Christmas, one and all.

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First up are Blue Rodeo, a longtime personal favorite, performing a rocking version of "O Come All Ye Faithful" from a CBC Christmas Eve special a few years ago:

Here's a lovely take on "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas' fromBlue Rodeo's Jim Cuddy and Kathleen Edwards:

Next, a haunting, minor key version of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" from T-Bone Burnett. Although these days he's best known as a producer, he's a terrific songwriter/performer in his own right (check out his brilliant 1983 Proof Through the Night album sometime), as you can hear here:

Finally, a gorgeous, melancholy instrumental titled, appropriately enough, "Christmas Eve," courtesy of Scotland's great Teenage Fanclub. This is a cover version, incidentally; the original is from Welsh band Gorky's Zygotic Mynci (say that five times fast), whose version is equally pretty:

Once again, Merry Christmas to you and yours, everyone...

Rib(s) Rocked

Hello, and a Happy pre-Christmas Thursday to everyone. Hope you're already on vacation, or will be after tomorrow.

Yours truly is working, and will be next week as well. It's been frantic at work the past few months (more so than usual), and exhausting, so you do what you have to do. The bright side, such as it is, is that no one is in the office, so I can get a lot done without interruption.

There is one complication, however:

I broke two ribs last night. :c(

Or, to be completely accurate, I broke two ribs again last night.

What happened? Follow along after the jump.

Read more »

Musings: Five Is Right Out

Hello all. Hope you're having a good December so far. This isn't my favorite time of year, although it used to be. It brings to mind painful memories of broken promises, lies, and betrayal. This December has been harder than usual for some reason. But I'll get through it. I've come too far and worked too hard.

And on that note, I just wanted to put up a brief post today to commemorate one of the most important days of my life.

Five years ago today - December 13, 2013 (Friday the 13th, incidentally) is the day I went full time.

It simultaneously feels like yesterday and a thousand years ago - in a good way. And while I'm going through a less than pleasant period at the moment, I'm doing it as myself. And that makes it all worthwhile. I wouldn't trade my life now for anything I had back then. I think the two photos below - the first taken the day I started HRT (November 19th, 2011) and the second taken this evening, December 12th, 2018 - tell the story far better than any words I can conjure up:

And here I am five years ago to the day on the left, and today on the right:

A lot has changed since then - including my address (several times), hair color (once), boob size (OK, not so much), and, of course, plumbing (absolutely only once!).

(I also put on some weight, as you can see - a combination of prolonged, involuntary inactivity, a much-busier-than-usual work schedule, and the side effects of medication I was taking. But no excuses. I weighed the same from high school until just before my surgery in September 2017, and I am going to get back to my normal weight. I'm hard at work on it, every day. And I'll succeed (in fact, I'm already on my way, in the past three weeks since I started in earnest). I know now I can do anything I put my mind to. Posting these pics is one way to hold myself to that when I'm tired at the end of the day and need a reminder of my goal. In six or so months I plan to be back to my normal weight. Book it.)

What will the next five years bring? Who knows? But I'm looking forward to finding out. See you back here on December 13, 2023. :c)

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By the way, for anyone wondering where the title of this post comes from, I refer you to the Book of Armaments, Chapter Two, verses 9-21:

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In the spirit of the season, a few Christmas songs from two wonderful new holiday albums, by The Mavericks and The Old 97s, respectively. Check them out; they're both terrific bands who get a lot of airplay here in Cass's Little Corner of the World.

And to end on a more contemplative note, here's Kate Bush's 1979 classic, "December Will Be Magic." First, a live version, from her Christmas special that year:

And last but not least, the single version, which is as lovely as its singer:

Hope to post at least once more before Christmas. Have a lovely holiday season (whichever you observe) in the meantime, everyone.