Cassidy's Quest: More Musings: A New Year, and a New Start

Sunday, January 31, 2021

Well, hello again. :c)

Back so soon, you say?

How come, you say?

(Well, probably not, but I was thinking it.) :c)

Because last night I re-read yesterday's post again. And I felt I hadn't quite captured everything I was trying to say.

So, I've spent the past hour trying to think of what else it needed. But I wasn't sure more of what, precisely.

Then I was struck by one of those all-too-infrequent moments of clarity.

When one appears, it's best to pay attention.

And that moment of clarity told me that it's fine that the post wasn't missing anything.

And it's OK that I don't have it all figured out from the very beginning.

In fact, it's more than OK; it's exactly what I needed to realize right now.

Which is that a large part of the reason I'm feeling stuck isn't because I have no idea of what to do.

It's because I have too many ideas.

Too many possible paths.

Too many possible futures, all jumbled together, and all wrestling for supremacy.

And I'm spinning my wheels trying to figure out in my head which one is the right one.

Which brings me back to my original question from the beginning of this post.

Of course I didn't - couldn't - include everything in that first post.

Because it's the first post.

It's the first step in a journey.

And, if I give it my all, the journey will ultimately lead to where I should be.

I know writing about things like this works.

Because writing this blog helped me figure out the biggest issue I faced in my life:

Who am I?

Well, thanks to this blog, I now know who I am.

I'm Cassidy.

I'm glad I'm Cassidy.

The effort to get to that point - to being fully myself, at long last - took a lot out of me.

And now that I am myself, I need to think about the next big question.

Now what?

And that is precisely why I think I've been in a rut.

I think it's the last remaining piece of the old me that for some reason I've been holding on to.

Why? I don't know.

Not yet, anyway.

Hopefully I'll find out in the weeks and months to come.

I know in my head I'm more than ready to move forward.

I guess I just need my heart to know it too.

That it will be OK.

I already did the hardest part.

I willed myself to become the person I should have been all along.

Now that I've done that, don't I owe it to myself to live the life I should be living?

Yes. Yes, I do.

So... now that that's out of the way:

Let's get started, shall we? :c)

***

Well, this post turned out to be longer than I expected! But that's fine - it led to me listening to some great songs that I'll share will you now.

I included "All Things Must Pass" from George Harrison's first post-Beatles solo album yesterday. So it seems appropriate that this post includes a track from his final, posthumous album, 2002's Brainwashed. This is the first song on the album - "Any Road":

If you don't know where you're going/Any road will take you there.

***

Next up is a song from an artist I don't think I've ever featured on this blog. David Wilcox is a terrific singer, songwriter, and self-taught guitarist. He's a thoughtful lyricist, and this song is one of my favorites. He wrote it about his he and wife, when they were dating and contemplating that next, huge step, using the metaphor of walking on a railroad bridge. It's called "Farther to Fall" (Home Again, 1991):

The final verse brings it all together:

Now you make your choice

Will you turn around and walk away

The tremble in your voice

You turn to me, smile and say

Hey, balance is no harder after all

Out across this bridge so tall

Balance is no harder

It's just that you've got farther

Now you've just got farther to fall

Balance is no harder

It's just that you've got farther

Now you've just got farther to fall

***

Finally, one of my very favorite songs, from one of my very favorite albums. While the song's lyrics are open to interpretation, I've always thought of it as a gentle admonition for when things seem overwhelming: "Take The Long Way Home" (Supertramp: Breakfast In America, 1979).