Here's Wishing You The Bluest Skies

Happy New Year, everyone. Hope the holidays were good for everyone.

I am still here. But I will not sugarcoat things: the past two weeks, particularly Christmas week, have been the most painful and draining of my life.

I touched on some of what happened with my family in my posts just before Christmas. I learned even more about what happened in the next few days (I spent the holidays apart from my parents and my brother's family) from my sister, who visited me Christmas night with my nephew C.

I will write about the family matters soon, but suffice it to say it confirms everything I suspected, or, really, that I knew all along.

Right now I am as exhausted as I have ever been, other than when I was recovering from mono several years ago. But this is close. I slept for nearly 20 hours on Saturday. Last night I came down with a nasty stomach bug that is going around, and missed work. I slept from about 8:00 AM until nearly 5:00.

I've been meeting regularly with my therapist the past few weeks; we met three times last week, at her suggestion. I'm glad we did. She is concerned about how exhausted I am. I have a doctor's appointment scheduled for next week, and I will discuss matters with her at that time.

I carried over a week of vacation with the intent of using it for a trip in the next few months, but I may need to use it before then simply to… well, do nothing. I really want to save it… but not at the expense of getting really sick.

In spite of the enormous heartache and loss of the past two weeks - and as far as I am concerned I am done with my brother and sister-in-law - I am proud of myself. The past two weeks were the culmination of the two and half hardest years of my life.

And I survived.

In fact, I grew enormously. (Well, OK, not my boobs or butt; you can't have everything, I suppose.)

"He" could never have stood up to my parents, or my brother, the way I did. Nor could he have resolved to take the high road no matter what they chose to say or do - and then followed through.

But I did.

I am bruised and battered… but I am done with the worst of it, I suspect.

I will write a new post about my new year's resolution soon. Essentially, it is this: 

I am now going to focus on ME.

I am going to get in the best shape of my life.

I am going to learn how to look my best.

And I am going to embrace my new life. 

Because I earned it.

Look out, 2014. 

Here comes Cass!

:D

***

I've used this song before, but it's such a perfect song for new beginnings I am going to post it again. Also, you can never have too much of the Kinks in your day!

So… here's wishing you all the bluest skies. Oh, and the very best of choruses, too. :c)