Musings: The Difference

I haven't published anything for a bit, so I thought I'd put this out there. I've been doing well overall. Like everyone, I have good days and not-so-good days, but basically I'm doing OK. 

I'm currently staying with a friend, as I believe I've mentioned previously. He's out of town for a bit, so I've been staying by myself for the past week. That was one of the things that got me into trouble earlier this year; I was far too isolated. I'm making sure that on the days when I don't have a scheduled session that I get out and about. I learned the hard way that being alone too often is a bad idea. 

I try to get out for a walk several times a day. I'm dealing with an issue with my knees that limits how much I can exercise, so I'm careful not to overdo it. My three hour plus walks are a thing of the past, according to my doctor, but it's still important to get out there for both my physical and mental health. And so I do.

One thing I've noticed the past few months is that I'm getting better about advocating for myself. I was extremely withdrawn, often not seeing or speaking another person for days at a time. I was very fortunate I found the strength deep down to ask for help when I reached the tipping point. As I move forward I do my best to make that a habit.

Recently I had an issue with one of my prescriptions, one that I really need. There was an issue on my health care provider's side that resulted in that prescription running out. I reached out several times to request a refill, as did my pharmacy, but we weren't getting any response. Over a week had passed; much too long to be without this prescription.

I had an appointment scheduled to figure out what was going on with my knees, so I drove back to the Boston area the day before. I was staying at my mother's condo, and as I was leaving I told her that I was not going to leave the doctor's office until I got that prescription sorted out.

And I did. As soon my doctor arrived, I asked that we get the prescription issue resolved. Basically there was a mixup on their side, which she was able to correct after a few minutes and submit the order to my pharmacy. I picked it up an hour later on my way back to my mother's.

This might seem like a small thing, but for me, at this time, it represents significant progress. I still struggle at times with anxiety over seemingly trivial matters, but bit by bit I'm able to do what's needed. Each time makes the next time easier. I've come a long way from where I was three months ago, and I'm determined to keep moving forward.

So, not my most eloquent or exciting post lol, but I want to keep writing regularly, so here we are. Hope you're enjoying the weekend; more to come soon!

 ***

I heard this song on the radio recently, which inspired me to write this post. I've always been a big fan of the Wallflowers, Jakob Dylan's band. Their breakthrough album was the classic Bringing Down the Horse, from 1996(!). The first two singles were "Sixth Avenue Heartache" (great song) and "One Headlight." The third was "The Difference."

As a bonus, here's my favorite Wallflowers song, "Three Marlenas." It's about a single woman (or possibly three different women - the lyrics are open to interpretation) presenting different faces to the world as she/they struggle to navigate multiple challenges. Jakob Dylan doesn't rate this song very highly for some reason, but I still find it haunting all these years later.

And one more, added just after I'd initially published this. I was listening to the album for the first time in quite a while just now and heard this great track - "God Don't Make Lonely Girls." Can't believe I'd almost forgotten this one!

That will do it for now; see you soon!