The Plan Keeps Coming Back Again… (Pt. 3)

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Saturday, 3:00 PM
The scene: I'm walking down a busy thoroughfare in - you guessed it - a torrential downpour. My cell phone rings. It's my father.

Me: Hey Dad. Are you and Mom home from the church social?

Him: L? Is that you?

Me (counting to three): Has anyone else ever answered this number, Dad?

Him: Where are you?

Me: Out walking.

Him: You know it's raining?

Me (wiping the condensation from my glasses again): I've noticed.

Him: It wasn't supposed to start this early, they're saying.

Me: I gathered that.

Him: Is that why you're still walking?

Me: That plus the fact that it started when I was an hour and a half from home.

Him: Well, will you be home by, let's see… 3:00?

Me: Dad, it's 3:00 right now.

Him: Is it? OK, I have to keep this short - Kojak is coming on.

Me: Keep what short?

Him: Your brother F invited us over for dinner.

Me: Oh, OK. I have something to talk to you all about, actually, so that's good.

Him: Sure.

Me: What time do we have to be there?

Him: 3:00.

Me: Dad, again, it's 3:00 right now. Why does he want us there so early?

Him: Well, he wants to order early from Bob's.

Me: But why not just get everyone's orders now, call them in, and tell them when you want to pick it up?

Him: No, they want to eat early.

Me: Why?

Him: Aren't you listening? There's a Kojak marathon on!

Me: Right. Sorry. Well, I can't be there at 3:00.

Him: Why not?

Me: Because it's 3:00 right now.

Him: It is?

Me (sighing): Yeah, Dad. I'll just meet you all over at F's house, OK?

Him: OK. By the way, F's father-in-law will be there too.

Me: @#$%!

Him: Hey, he's not my favorite person either, but I don't let him get to me like that! Anyway, do you have keys for his house? We don't to miss any of the show.

Me (shaking head): I do. No worries.

Him: Good. (yelling to my mother) M, how do you manually program the VCR again? This remote still isn't working!

Me: See you in a bit, Dad.


Postscript: if you're ordering from Bob's I highly recommend the turkey tips.


Here's one from The Dave Rawlings Machine. He is hands-down the best guitar player I have ever seen - and bear in mind that I saw Stevie Ray Vaughan live. Judge for yourself:


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